


Chandelier

by blackrainbow



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-03-28 20:12:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3868240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrainbow/pseuds/blackrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin did a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to Summer Dream.

 

“Whoah! Changminnie, you really come!” Yunho’s eyes widened and Changmin could see how excited he was, and his heart was at ease in a second.

 

The older was waiting at the bus station, dressed casually in tshirt and jeans, and Changmin noticed a slightest hint of stubble, and Yunho’s face was happier than ever. It was his hometown, however. He remembered that sunny smile and those bright eyes.

 

Changmin thought it would be… easier. But the guilt had eaten his heart severely and it was hard for him to return that smile.

 

“Here, let me help you bring that!” Yunho grabbed Changmin’s travel bag, didn’t seem to notice that Changmin was somehow uncomfortable and being awkward. Yunho was too overwhelmed by the younger’s presence.

 

“No, no, it’s okay-“

 

“Eii~ don’t be like this Changmin-ah! You’re my guest!” Yunho insisted, and put his other arm around the younger’s shoulder. “Is it tiring?”

 

“Ah, not at all.”

 

Yunho chuckled, and Changmin finally could give a small smile. Suddenly Yunho gave him a brief kiss on his cheek, made him went red.

 

“I just miss you so much, Min-ah.” Yunho whispered.

 

“I-“ Changmin gulped. “I miss you too…”

 

Yunho smiled hearing that, and held Changmin’s hand. “Come on, let’s go home!” he pulled Changmin along.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin sighed as he changed his clothes. Yunho left him alone in his bedroom they would share together during Changmin’s stay in Jeollado. The room was empty, the blankets and mattresses were folded neatly in a corner, and there was only a cupboard, and a little wooden table in the room.

 

Yunho had graduated and recruited by S Electronics. He had been working there for a year now. He was on leave for two weeks and gratefully used that opportunity to come home. Meanwhile, Changmin was in his last year at the university, in the stage where he was busy doing his paper.

 

But there was something that more important than that now. Something that made him came to Jeolla to meet Yunho. Something that he needed to tell Yunho.

 

But he just couldn’t. His mind felt like running around and round in his brain and he wanted so bad to let it all out, but it was harder that he thought.

 

“Changmin-ah, are you done?” Yunho’s voice could be heard from outside.

 

“Yes…” Changmin breathed out. He stood up and rolled open the door.

 

“Should we walk around a bit? Or are you tired? Wanna get some rest?” Yunho asked as soon as he saw his lover’s face.

 

“Ah, I’m okay.”

 

“Are you hungry? There’s still some jjigae… I had it for breakfast.” Yunho said and he went to the kitchen and Changmin just followed him like a puppy. “Do you want me to reheat it first?”

 

“It’s fine, Yunho.”

 

The pot wasn’t that big, so in the end Changmin just scooped the rice to the pot and enjoyed the soup. “Do you cook this yourself?”

 

“Of course not, Mrs Yoon had been cooking me food since my mother left. I’m so grateful for that.” Yunho just watched as Changmin enjoyed the food. “Is it delicious?”

 

Changmin just hummed and nodded, his mouth full with food.

 

Yunho smiled widely. “I’m so happy seeing you like this, Min-ah. I almost forgot how cute you are when eating.” He propped his head with his hands and watched the younger man in front of him intently.

 

Changmin munched slower and felt embarrassed with Yunho’s staring, but said nothing and drank the water Yunho prepared for him. “You’re not eating?”

 

“I just got back from the beach and ate ramyeon and sashimi on boat! You have to try it too next time, Min! Do you have seasickness, Min-ah?”

 

Ramyeon. Fresh sashimi. Changmin really, really had to try it. He didn’t know if he had seasickness or not, but his desire for food would win. “I want to try.”

 

Yunho nodded.

 

“Your parents… where are they?” Changmin asked, thinking that Mr and Mrs Jung might be in the field.

 

“They’re visiting my sister in Seoul. They’ll be here tomorrow.” Yunho said. “I’ve told them that you’ll come here, and they can’t wait to meet you as well.”

 

Changmin hummed.

 

So…

 

If-

 

If he told Yunho now, then he had to face a very awkward situation with Yunho, and he had to meet his parents too. Then, what would Yunho introduced him as? His boyfriend? Or maybe… ex boyfriend?

 

Changmin frowned when he thought about that.

 

Is it better to tell him later then, after Changmin met Yunho’s parents? They would meet, talked about stuff, then Changmin would confess, then he would go back to Seoul.

 

That sounded like a plan.

 

Unless... what would happen after he went back to Seoul? What would happen after he confessed?

 

“Min-ah, is there something wrong?” Yunho’s voice startled him.

 

Changmin looked at the man in front of him. His Yunho, his summer, with every gracious things he was, and he looked so clueless it almost stupid but everything about him was adorable and Changmin had fallen too deep to his charms.

 

“Are you feeling unwell, Changmin-ah?” Yunho’s face full of concern.

 

And Yunho was so, so kind it hurt. So Changmin gulped down his feelings. “Uh, no, I think- I bit the… the chili…” he quickly gulped down the water, and Yunho poured some more for him.

 

After eating, Changmin helped Yunho to wash the dishes. It was four in the afternoon and Yunho asked if Changmin wanted to walk around the village a bit and they would return Mrs Yoon’s pot while at it. Changmin agreed, and Yunho took his hand.

 

It felt like the old time when they were still dating in the campus. Yunho would walk him to the bus station before he went to work. Sometimes they would have early dinner, or just some snack. Or visit Mrs Kim ice cream shop together. Yunho got busier as he graduated and worked so hard in the company. They rarely meet and somehow Changmin just missed this so much.

 

He wouldn’t let his stupid confession to ruin this moment.

 

He just wanted to feel Yunho’s hand wrapped around his, and the older humming a quiet happy tone that only both of them could hear, and the reddish glow from the sun illuminated the whole village like a beautiful painting.

 

Mrs Yoon invited both of them for dinner when they returned her pot, after she complimented how handsome Changmin was.

 

“Aigoo Yunho-yah, all Seoul men are good looking like this?”

 

“Changmin is the best, Mrs Yoon.” Yunho grinned and Changmin could only bow in embarrassment.

 

Mr Yoon was a fisherman and just caught a big fish. “He went out for a drink with his pals just now…” she said as she prepared the food. “We have eaten already, so please eat comfortably, Yunho-yah…”

 

“Ah, this is too much, Mrs Yoon!” Yunho’s eyes widened as he saw the amount of rice in his bowl.

 

“Eii, what are you talking about? Men should eat a lot, right?” Mrs Yoon said as she added more rice for Changmin.

 

Changmin hadn’t eaten steamed fish for so long and the taste was killer. The spices made it smell more tempting and the flavor was an art. “I don’t remember eating something this good before,”

 

Yunho and Mrs Yoon just laughed as Changmin kept moaning in delight. Yunho gave some of his fish and Mrs Yoon added slices of kimchi to his plate. “Just come over anytime, I surely will cook you two something delicious.”

 

“The kimchi is very nice,” Changmin couldn’t stop his words of praise, and Mrs Yoon was pleased hearing it.

 

“Ah, that’s right, tomorrow Mrs Han and I will come over to Mrs Yoon’s house, we will make kimchi. If you have time, please visit us.” Mrs Yoon said.

 

“We will come, Mrs Yoon!” Yunho said. “We will be there.”

 

It was dark when they returned home and Changmin had tripped on stones twice. Luckily Yunho was there and he didn’t fall.

 

Yunho showered first, then Changmin. And when he went to the bedroom, Yunho already prepared the mattress and blanket for them.

 

“It’s getting colder at night, so you might want extra blanket…” Yunho said, gave Changmin two thick blankets. “I can use this one,” he said, took a thinner blanket and spread it on his mattress.

 

Changmin sighed and put their mattresses closer. “We can share the blanket, right?”

 

Yunho’s cheeks became rounder as his smile got wider. “Ah, of course… my Changminnie is so thoughtful,”

 

“I just don’t want the old man got sick.” Changmin replied lightly, but his lips unknowingly formed a small smile. He got into his position first, laid comfortably under the thick blankets while Yunho turning off the lamps before lying beside him.

  
The silence made Changmin think again.

 

He should spoke up. He couldn’t keep dragging the time. He had been feeling uneasy from the start. True, there were some moments that made him forget about it, but still, he couldn’t get his mind off it. Changmin believed that saying it would make him felt better. He couldn’t keep lying to Yunho. Yunho was too kind for him and he just couldn’t do that.

 

Changmin braced himself and took a deep breath. “Yunho…”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“There’s… there’s something I want to tell you.” His voice became shaky a bit, and somehow Changmin wanted to cry and thankful that the lights were off.

 

“Yes, Changminnie?”

 

No, not Changminnie again. Yunho, please stop calling me sweet names and please stop being good to me for just a little while so I can spill it all out. I already feeling so bad for doing it and I want to tell you, but your smile isn’t helping at all.

 

Yunho covered Changmin’s left hand with his right under the blanket. “I know, Changmin-ah,”

 

Changmin’s heart stopped beating for a split second.

 

“That you can’t express your feelings well with words, you told me that before.” Yunho continued. “So you don’t have to say it if it’s really hard on you. I know that you feel uncomfortable at first, you’ve never been here anyway. And I know that you tried hard to make me happy so you came here. And I know, Changmin-ah… I love you too…”

 

Changmin bit his lip and breathed out slowly.

 

It wasn’t the words he was going to say, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t true.

 

“Thank you so much, Changminnie. You need to know how important it is to me to have you here. I’m glad that you are willing to do this much for me.” Yunho said again, squeezed Changmin’s hand tighter. “So for all that, I will guarantee your visit will be worth it!”

 

Changmin forced a small laugh. How could he forget how positive Yunho was? How he thought nicely of other people, how he never saw a person in their bad side. That Yunho he loved so much, that Yunho he betrayed… how could he confess his fault to him?

 

Yunho brought Changmin’s hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “Sleep well, Changminnie…”

 

Changmin felt chocked with guilt, and he was suffocated and teared up at Yunho’s treatment to him. “I love you,” that was all he could say. His voice shook.

 

“I know,” Yunho patted Changmin’s hand reassuringly, and put it on his chest.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Changmin couldn’t sleep the whole night. He tried to close his eyes, felt tired but annoyed, therefore couldn’t relax his mind and fall to a sleep. He looked at the man beside him, already sleeping soundly and Changmin could hear his soft snore filling the room.

 

He sighed. Yunho still held his hand and Changmin slowly pulled it from the older man’s grasp. Yunho turned around and hummed in his sleep, facing him, eyes still closed. Changmin bit his lip as he eyed his lover.

 

Yunho looked so peaceful. Changmin brought his hand to that small face and brushed his eyebrows with his thumb. If only he could turn back the time. He’d give everything to undo it. He was left with regret now. Changmin closed his eyes again, and everything just played in his mind, just like a drama.

 

“Changmin-ah,”

 

He could feel Yunho pressed a kiss lightly to his eyes.

 

“Do you want to go to the sea?”

 

Changmin opened his eyes, didn’t expect that it was still dark. “What time is it?”

 

“Four.” Yunho said and got up. “I’m going to help Mr Yoon fishing, do you want to join me? Or do you want to sleep some more? I’ll be back before eight, Min-ah.” Yunho wore a thick jacket. “I’ll buy breakfast too, what do you want to eat?”

 

“I’m… I’m going with you,” Changmin said quietly, flipped the blanket aside.

 

“Here, wear this,” Yunho gave him a jacket.

 

Changmin wetted his face with cold water while Yunho prepared his boots.

 

“It’s my father’s, is it too small?” Yunho asked, eyeing Changmin’s feet.

 

“It’s a bit too tight, but it’s okay. I don’t want them to slip out, anyway,” Changmin said.

 

“During Summer I’ll just go barefooted usually.” Yunho said. “I love to feel the sand on my feet, between my toes, you know that feeling, right?” he grinned. “Come on, let’s go.” he closed the door behind them and they walked side by side to the sea. “Have you ever watched the sunrise in the sea, Changminnie?”

 

“I haven’t.” Changmin replied.

 

“It’s really, really beautiful.” Yunho said excitedly. “I’m so glad that we’ll see it together.” He smiled widely to the younger.

 

His genuine, happy, sweet smile. And Changmin’s heart hurt somewhere.

 

“We’ve seen the first snowfall together, now sunrise… I’m so grateful for a lot of things more that you’re with me, Changmin-ah,”

 

Changmin wished he could say something. Anything. But he afraid he’d sob when he opened his mouth.

 

Mr Yoon was a well built man in his 60s, and there were some other fishermen in the boat, about three or four person. “It’s a good thing that your father is going to town, Yunho-yah, so you’re here helping me,” he said.

 

“Today I bring extra hands to help, Mr Yoon,” Yunho said cheerfully. “This is Changmin.”

 

Changmin greeted them politely.

 

“Oh, this friend my wife talked about last night?” Mr Yoon patted Changmin’s shoulder.

 

“Yep,” Yunho said, hopped on the boat and helped Changmin got in.

 

“My wife said that he has a big appetite,” Mr Yoon added.

 

Changmin laughed awkwardly and Yunho giggled, “That’s why, please once again show us your incredible knife skill to cut a perfect sashimi, Mr Yoon!”

 

Mr Yoon’s laughed could be heard in the entire sea. “That could be arranged,” he winked.

 

 

*

 

 

That was the first time Changmin felt seasick. He thought he was going to be fine, but he felt extremely nauseous and dizzy. He tried to hide it, but Yunho exclaimed of how pale he was.

 

“It’s fine Min, it’s not like you’re weak. You’re just not used to it. Wait here, yeah?” Yunho handed him warm water and went out again to help Mr Yoon.

 

The motion of the boat was twirling his gut. But later on, he tried to think of the gentle sway. Like in a mother’s arm, or swing in a windy day. He fell asleep eventually.

 

Yunho woke him when they went back to the shore, big, calloused hands shaking him gently. “Feeling better, Minnie?”

 

Changmin blinked away his sleepiness.

 

“Come on, let’s go home.” Yunho said again, helped him to stand up.

 

Changmin apologized to Mr Yoon because he couldn’t help him, but the old man just nodded and smiled. “It’s okay,  Yunho was there anyway.”

 

“Yunho power can exchange two or three person, right, Mr Yoon? Like superpower battery!” Yunho replied with his brightbright smile.

 

Yunho was buying breakfast in a small restaurant while Mr Yoon was smoking outside.

 

“Yunho is a very good man,” Mr Yoon said, and Changmin knew the man was talking to him. “Very young and naïve sometimes, but you can’t ask for more. He’s already anything you’d need.”

 

Changmin didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded a little.

 

“There’s a lot of load on his shoulder he had to carry… so much burden in such young age…” Mr Yoon blew up the white smoke. “He deserves kindness in return.” He gave a look to Changmin.

 

Changmin’s fist clenched. “I will try my best.”

 

“Changmin-ah! Is beansprout soup okay?” Yunho came out. “Let’s quickly go home and eat it while it’s still hot.”

 

 

*

 

 

“Yunho, I need to tell you something.”

 

“Do you want more?” Yunho asked as he put some kimchi on Changmin’s plate.

 

“No, Yunho, listen,” Changmin didn’t have any appetite. The thing had stuck on the edge of his tongue and in his mind forever. He had to say it.

 

Yunho nodded and put a spoonful of rice to his mouth.

 

“Yunho,” Changmin held Yunho’s hand down. “Please listen to me.”

 

Yunho stopped munching, finally sense how serious Changmin became. “Yes, Changmin?”

 

“I… I have to tell you this…” now the time came, Changmin didn’t know how to tell him.

 

Yunho blinked.

 

Changmin bit his lower lip and tried to calm his crazy pounding heart.

 

“What is it, Min?” Yunho was a bit worry now.

 

Changmin gulped down the huge lump of guilt in his throat. “I-“

 

“Yunho-yah! Are you home?”

 

They startled.

 

“Yunho-yah!”

 

“That’s my mother!” Yunho stood up and went to the door. “Umma! You’re back! How’s Jihye?”

 

Changmin glared at his innocent meal. Now how could he say it all when his parents were here?

 

“Umma, Appa, this is my junior from school, Changmin.” Yunho said, came back to the kitchen with bags in his hands.

 

Changmin quickly introduced himself, bowed respectfully to the parents.

 

“Ah, when did you arrive?” Mrs Jung asked.

 

“Yesterday afternoon, Mrs Jung.” Changmin answered.

 

“Oh, so you spent the night here? Was it comfortable enough?”

 

“Changminnie snored so loud last night…” Yunho said, put the fresh vegetables Mrs Jung just bought to the fridge.

 

“Look who’s talking,” Mrs Jung whispered to Changmin.

 

Changmin just let out a little laugh.

 

“Ah, what about food? My Yunho can’t cook.” Mrs Jung just realized that the boys were having their meal.

 

“Even I can’t cook, I won’t ever let Changminnie starve, Umma!” Yunho said.

 

“Yah, Son! I’m trying to talk to your friend here! How can you interrupt right now and then!” Mrs Jung scolded, and Yunho retreated.

 

“The meal was very delicious. We went to Mrs Yoon’s house.” Changmin answered with a smile. “We even went fishing this morning with Mr Yoon. But unfortunately I was seasick.”

 

“Ah… what a bad thing. But Yunho never had seasickness, though. Maybe the fisherman blood run in his veins,” Mrs Jung laughed.

 

 

*

 

 

Mr Jung wasn’t a fisherman, but he fixed the boat, or even made some on request. Changmin had seen the warehouse before, where Mr Jung worked, and Mrs Jung asked him to bring some snack for her husband and son.

 

“What major do you take?” Mr Jung asked.

 

“Journalistic, Mr Jung.” Changmin replied.

 

Mr Jung hummed and instructed Yunho to cut some wood, Changmin helped to measure it.

 

“I’m going to Mr Yoon’s house. He’s buying some nets and I’ll see if the shop already has the saw I asked.” Mr Jung said, drinking the juice in one shot and taking one of the potatoes Mrs Jung served.

 

“Okay, Appa.” Yunho nodded.

 

“The problem on that one is only the leaking, don’t hit the hammer too hard or you’ll damage the wood, got it?”

 

“Got it.”

 

“I’m going.”

 

“See you, Appa.”

 

Changmin bowed to Mr Jung and the man left. “Is it hard?” Changmin just watched, sitting on an empty table.

 

“A little.” Yunho said, wiped the sweat on his forehead with his sleeve. “I work pretty well in the factory, but this is different.”

 

Changmin heart fell when Yunho gave him a small smile. “Can I help you?” he got up from the table and walked towards Yunho.

 

“It’s almost done.” Yunho said, putting down the hammer. “That thing during lunch… what was it about?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What are you gonna say to me?” Yunho asked, took off his gloves and looked at Changmin.

 

Changmin didn’t think that Yunho would remember that.

 

“I think it was pretty important, so… what is it? Something happened at school? Or… maybe your family?” Yunho concerned, walked closer to Changmin.

 

Changmin gulped. “No… it wasn’t like that.” He looked away.

 

“You seem a little quiet too. I mean, you’re not someone who talks a lot, but I think something’s a little bit off. Like, you’re distracted or something.” Yunho’s brows furrowed deeper. “What is it?”

 

“Yunho, I…” Changmin tried to take a breath, but he felt like choking. He finally darted his eyes to the man in front of him. But it just made it harder.

 

Yunho’s eyes were full of worry, gazed at him deeply.

 

It dropped Changmin’s heart. And courage to confess. Yunho shouldn’t look at him that way. Yunho shouldn’t care about him that much. He shouldn’t love him that much… but the fact is, he does. Changmin knew Yunho loves him. And he loves Yunho too. That was why he needed to say it. He dared himself to look at his lover in the eye.

 

“I cheated on you.”

 

It felt like winter had come once again. The temperature went down drastically, the time froze. Changmin felt cold all over.

 

“What?” Yunho’s voice was weak, no stronger than a whisper.

 

“I’m so sorry, Yunho, please…” Changmin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I regret this, and I feel terrible so I decide to just say it to you…” he thought it’d be easy. That he just had to spit it out. But it was hard to breathe, and his heart almost fell from where it belonged, and the tears. His willed down the tears but his vision was so blurry he couldn’t figure out anything in front of him.

 

Changmin was already feeling so bad, but Yunho was worse.

 

The man couldn’t move or even think. They went still for quite some time, only the sound of Changmin quiet sob could be heard.

 

“What do you want now?”

 

The words were a blasting whip to Changmin. In the scenario he played in his mind, Yunho would ask why, who, when, and he was ready to explain, but none of those question came out. He lifted his head to see the other guy.

 

Yunho was still staring at him. Expressionless. His eyes were empty.

 

Changmin took a deep breath, wiped his unknowingly fallen tears, and looked down. “I don’t know.”

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho busied himself in the warehouse while Changmin helped Mrs Jung making kimchi with the neighborhood ahjummas. No words exchanged during dinner, but thanks to Mrs Jung’s talkativeness, the situation wasn’t as awkward.

 

The night fell and they slept in the same room. Yunho still gave Changmin his extra blanket, and the younger didn’t have the gut to ask Yunho if he wanted to share it like the night before. He knew Yunho was upset and didn’t want to be that close with him.

 

“I think… I better go home tomorrow.” Changmin finally said.

 

“Fine.”

 

It was still Yunho. The same person with the same voice. But to Changmin, it was so different. They were inches away, but felt like in two different worlds. There was no more _Okay, Changminnie,_ or _Yes, Min-ah_. His sun disappeared in a snap just like that.

 

Changmin didn’t manage to hold his cry.

 

No sound of snore heard that night.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho walked him to the bus station. Changmin’s bag heavy with the lunchbox Mrs Jung packed, his heart heavy with the guilt inside.

 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to wait.” Changmin said to Yunho as soon as they arrived.

 

Yunho looked at the clock. “It’ll be here in ten minutes.”

 

Changmin just nodded. Didn’t sure if Yunho even heard the words he said.

 

The bus came. Changmin was going to say goodbye, but Yunho didn’t even look at him, just helped him with his bag. Changmin boarded the bus without repeating how sorry he was. But the thing he regretted the most, was he hadn’t told how much he love Yunho.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Ms Lee was in charge of teaching Painting Class Kyuhyun took, and Changmin wondered why his friend joined the class when he had neither interest nor talent in the art matters.

 

“She’s so pretty. And cute. She can be a model if she’s a little taller.”

 

Changmin snorted.

 

“Where else you can get such a girl? She’s talented too!” Kyuhyun tried to defend himself. “And young!”

 

Changmin still wasn’t interested.

 

“Oh come on, you even haven’t seen her!”

 

Changmin tsked. “You didn’t remember what happened when you forced me to your Robotic Class?”

 

 “Yeah, you dated my robotic teacher!” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “You’re welcome!”

 

Changmin laughed, because Kyuhyun was right. It was unintentional, but he really dated Yunho in the end, though actually the robotic class thing was a tiny matter in their relationship.

 

“Just spare me some of your luck, maybe I can date this one too.” Kyuhyun pleaded.

 

“I need to go to the library. This already is my third revision and-“

 

“I’ll treat you coffee.” Kyuhyun cut.

 

Changmin finally said yes. Because well, he was not going to library for some references. There were already mountains of book in his room he hadn’t touched. He was trying to distract his mind from thinking about Yunho and how little time spent between them lately.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin was waiting for the class to start, fiddling with his phone. Most of the students were female, and the men were only few, less than ten. Probably there would be no male if the teacher wasn’t as pretty as Ms Lee, or so Kyuhyun said. He sent a chat to Yunho, telling him about the class he took.

 

_Yunho:_

_Really? Waa~~ hv fun min-ah! Maybe next time u can draw me! ><_

_I hv to skip lunch :/ my work isn’t finished yet :(_

_Hv u eat ur lunch Minsarang? :0_

_I miss u~ :*_

Yeah, he missed Yunho much too. He replied the text, reminded him _again,_ to not skipping any meals anymore. And he remembered the first time Yunho called him that, _Minsarang._ It brought smile to his lips.

 

“Don’t call me that!” Changmin said through clenched teeth and hardly control his blush, scolded Yunho from the living room of the older’s apartment, while the other was in the kitchen.

“But Minnie, it’s because I love-“

“I know, but Mins-“ Changmin groaned. “No! Okay!”

“But do you want to try this nachos, though?” Yunho asked, lifted a bowl full of crispy cheese nachos, dipped some slices to the sauce and ate it. The sound was stimulating Changmin’s appetite.

Changmin quickly got up from his seat and ran to the kitchen, hand reached to the nachos bowl.

“Do you want to eat this,” Yunho grinned, “Minsarang?”

Changmin got the nachos. And Yunho was allowed to call him Minsarang in the end.

 

_Yunho:_

_Minnie y r u so kind to me >< u care so much about me i’m so thankful <3_

_What time u finish today? Let’s meet up! I’ll treat u dinner :D I rlly want to c u :))_

Changmin bit his lip from grinning like an idiot. The thought already made him so happy.

 

_Changmin:_

_maybe around 5 or 6. where should we meet? i wanna eat soondae :P_

 

He waited, but Yunho hadn’t replied. Maybe he was busy. A little smile formed on his lips, but it turned to a frown. Changmin sighed and looked around. Seemed like he was too deep in his world. The rest was already busy with their canvas, drawing the world map that plastered to the blackboard. Kyuhyun was still outside, though.

 

“Hey,” Changmin called the girl sitting next to him. “Sorry, can I borrow a pencil?”

 

The girl lifted her brows. “Going to the painting class without pencil…” she mumbled amusedly, but still lent Changmin one of her pencil.

 

“Thanks,” Changmin gave a small smile. “I don’t know if we have to bring the pencil. I thought we just have to… I don’t know, paint? With… brush… and watercolor or whatever… uh, are we drawing that map?”

 

“You didn’t listen to the instructions the teacher said?” she asked.

 

Changmin felt guilty not because he was wrong. But because of the judging look the girl gave him, with her big eyes. “We’re not in Geography class why is the teacher telling us to draw a map.”

 

“Because the imaginary gridlines, it’ll be easier to draw the map.” She tried to explain patiently, though Changmin could tell she was restraining herself.

 

Changmin tilted his head. “But why are we drawing the easy thing? I’ve been drawing maps since junior high school.”

 

“That’s just how she teaches the basic.” The girl replied in a low tone. “If you listened to her, you’d know that we’ll learn coloring today.”

 

“So the drawing is not important?” Changmin replied. “Is the drawing doesn’t have to be good just because we learn coloring?”

 

“Lee Seongsaeng-nim, sorry I’m late, I was from Mr Kim’s office,” Kyuhyun bowed to the girl Changmin talked to.

 

“It’s okay,” the girl smiled. “You can ask your friend for today’s task.” She gave a look to a dumbfounded Changmin, before walking to the other side where one of the students called her.

 

“Right?” Kyuhyun grinned. “She’s pretty right?” he nudged Changmin.

 

“She’s- she’s Ms Lee?” Changmin asked, didn’t believe that he just argued with the teacher.

 

“Uh huh,” Kyuhyun still had that stupid wide grin on his face.

 

“That teacher you’ve been talking about… is her?!” Changmin asked again, just to make sure, though he didn’t have to, because he knew the answer would be-

 

“Yes.” Kyuhyun was watching Ms Lee’s back, her long blonde hair danced on her back as she gave a demonstration on the canvas.

 

_Holy. Shitfuck._ “Kyu. I’m not going to any class you recommend to me again. Ever.”

 

 

*

 

 

_Yunho:_

_Changminnie, i’m rlly sorry i can’t meet u today :(_

_There’ll be an inspection tmrw & the supervisor asked me to check everything ><_

_I’m so sorry min-ah, i promise to make it up to u :’(_

 

Changmin frowned. He just rejected Kyuhyun’s offer to grab a beer after they finished the class. He sighed and looked around. The university was almost empty. He’d just go home, then.

 

He didn’t reply Yunho’s chat right away. He wasn’t angry, just… disappointed. Okay, he admitted that he was angry. A little. That was the second time Yunho couldn’t meet him after work. But well, Yunho sent flowers to his home the day after when the older cancelled their date last week. Changmin was fine not meeting Yunho, but the thing was, they already planned it. And Yunho asked first! But he was the one who said they couldn’t! What the hell!

 

Annoyed, he kicked a stone on his path.

 

And it hit someone’s ankle, a woman, apparently, with black high heels.

 

“I’m sorry!” Changmin was quick to apologize.

 

“Do you hate me or something?” the woman lifted one of her eyebrow.

 

“I already apologize,” Changmin said in defense. “I don’t hate you, it’s just- you happen to walk to the same spot as the stone-“

 

“You’re not only gonna critique the way I teach, but the way I walk too?” Ms Lee folded her arms.

 

“No. I’m not. I’m sorry. Really. About the class, and the accident just now. It wasn’t planned. And for your class, without any disrespect to you, I won’t attend it anymore, not because the way you teach, or because of you overall, but because I just don’t have any talent in it.” Changmin said, hoped to clear any misunderstanding between them. “You see, I didn’t even bring the pencil during the first meeting.”

 

Ms Lee walked towards him, and Changmin back went straight, he held his hand respectfully and look down, ready for whatever she would say.

 

“I’m just kidding,” she giggled. “Do you really think I’m that kind of woman who’ll bitch about pencil and stone? Now that disrespects me.” she winked.

 

Changmin’s mind clicked a second away. So… she wasn’t angry?

 

“Anyway, I can use a little help with this,” Ms Lee gave Changmin two thick books she was holding, as well as her bag. “To my car.”

 

Changmin had no choice but to follow. The teacher leaded the way, elegantly took out the key from her handbag and opened the door. “Just put them in the back,”

 

Changmin did, he closed the door and they exchanged a look.

 

She really was pretty like Kyuhyun said. Her eyes were big, maybe she wore lenses, he didn’t know. And her long eyelashes framed them so prettily. The small nose and lips made her looked like an innocent doll. She tied her long blonde hair to a ponytail, and her white shirt and crème skirt fitted to her body beautifully.

 

“Are you going somewhere?” Ms Lee asked.

 

Changmin quickly looked away, hoped that she didn’t notice he was staring. “Um, no really…”

 

“Well, if you want a ride…” she said, entering the car. “I’ll drive you.”

 

“Uh…” Changmin hesitated. He knew he really shouldn’t. Why, he didn’t know. He wouldn’t able to handle the awkwardness.

 

“Get in.”

 

It was a like a command and Changmin found himself following again. He got in the car and put on the seatbelt.

 

“Where’s your home?” Ms Lee asked as she turned on the engine.

 

“It’s fine, really. I can go home by myself.” Changmin said as they were exiting the campus area.

 

“Uh huh, that’s just like what my 5 years old nephew said.” Ms Lee said, just paying attention to the road. “Are you even legal yet…”

 

It wasn’t a question. More like a sarcastic remark. And Changmin found himself saying, “I am.”

 

Ms Lee smiled. “I don’t know your name.”

 

“Shim Changmin.”

 

“I’ll definitely check your work first, Shim Changmin,” Ms Lee said, gave him a warning look, but then grinned again.

 

Changmin found her a little charming.

 

Changmin didn’t give her his address, but she didn’t pull over, instead parked in a bar. They both got off the car and she insisted Changmin to come with her. Ms Lee ordered a seafood platter and two bottles of soju.

 

“I drink well.” Changmin said when he poured the clear liquid to Ms Lee’s glass.

 

“We’ll see who’s better,” she challenged.

 

 

*

 

 

The parking area was almost empty. It was a little after 10 when they got back to the car. Changmin fell down to the seat and she pulled the lever to recline it, hopped on Changmin’s lap.

 

Changmin found himself kissing her.

 

Ms Lee’s lips were a little sticky from the lipgloss she wore, but her tongue was bitter, the taste of alcohol invaded his mind as they engaged in a fierce kiss. He felt her soft back, touched the bra underneath her white shirt, lust drove him crazy as she rubbed his erection with her ass.

 

“Don’t tell me you’re a virgin.” She said, bit Changmin’s ear roughly.

 

Changmin groaned. He didn’t want to answer that.

 

Ms Lee laughed. “Did you plan to lose your virginity tonight?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

Ms Lee cooed, “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

 

Changmin shifted, lifted his hips a little because his boner made him uncomfortable, and it made the woman on top of him hit her head to the top of the car. He laughed.

 

She laughed too.

 

The light shined on her face and it reminded Changmin of something.

 

 

He froze and she sensed something wrong. “What, you have a girlfriend?”

 

“No.” Changmin said. It wasn’t a lie.

 

She touched his chest, gently caressed it, but Changmin wasn’t responding. She hummed and rearranged her bra. “Let’s just go home.”

 

She opened the door and got off Changmin’s lap and started to drive. Changmin got off in the nearest bus station and he just thought of how he made a fool of himself.

 

He checked his phone, there were unread message from his mother, asking if he’d come home. Two missed calls. Both from Yunho. Changmin read the chat he sent.

 

_Yunho:_

_Changmin-ah, r u sleeping yet? : >_

_I’m still in d office, myb i hv to work overnight again :((_

_I’m rlly sorry about our date, i hope u know that i rlly want to c u, min :”( pls don’t be mad…_

_Anyway, good nite & hv a sweet dream, minsarang~ <3_

 

Changmin gripped his phone tightly, thunder in his ear and lump in his throat.

 

_No, Yunho. I’m sorry._

*

 

 

Changmin always avoided Ms Lee when he was in the university. But the teacher acted like nothing happened the other night. She still looked at him in the eye, as she handed him the work he did two days ago, the map.

 

“You do the color badly. I don’t know what’s on your mind. I believe you’re not talented like you said.” She said.

 

“Oh.” Changmin didn’t know what else to say. So he was there to be insulted?

 

“But the drawing is so amazing, I can’t believe you did it.” She smilled proudly.

 

“Oh?” Changmin thought he heard wrong.

 

“It’s so detailed. I’m obsessed with details, my teachers said that it’s boring, but whatever, that’s my style.” She shrugged and instructed Changmin to step in the class. “Anyway, you see how you thicken the edges, and this slope, I love this one…”

 

Changmin didn’t know what she was talking about, but she sure was serious about it and excited too.

 

“... I think you’ll be amazing at sketches! We’ll do that tomorrow, so it’ll be so fortunate if you come.” She said.

 

“I think you’re overreacting.” Changmin replied. “It’s just a map. Everyone would do it as good as me.”

 

“I think you should shut your mouth, Mr Know-It-All.” She put her hands on her hips, didn’t budge under Changmin’s towering height. “I see what you can do, and you’ll do it better so just zip that wide lips of yours when I’m teaching. And you’re coming to my class at this exact time tomorrow.”

 

 

*

 

 

“Are you sick?”

 

“No.”

 

“Hungry?”

 

“No.”

 

Yunho didn’t say anything else, already thinking that Changmin was in the bad mood.

 

“Something happened at school?” Yunho asked again.

 

“Not really.”

 

Yunho looked at the sky, the summer hadn’t came yet, but he could see the stars clearly. They met up at Han River after Yunho finished his work. He missed his Changminnie so much, but he didn’t know why his lover was so sulky right now. “Should we head back, then?”

 

“Why, you don’t want to spend time with me?” that was the first time Changmin looked at Yunho.

 

Yunho sighed. “Of course it’s not like that. I want to see you badly, Min, we’ve cancelled so many dates and haven’t met for ages-“

 

“And why do you want to send me home, then?” Changmin snapped.

 

“Changmin,” Yunho was tired. He was still the junior at his office, but good at his job. Some of senior staff envied him, therefore refused to help when he needed some. He had to do mostly everything by himself, and the manager thought that Yunho was capable, and giving him more than he could handle. “I already try to make conversation, but you keep saying no. That was the longest sentence you’ve said to me tonight.”

 

“So you’re blaming me now?” Changmin gripped his canned coffee tighter, crushed it. “What, I’m doing something wrong, so unforgiveable and sinful?”

 

Yunho massaged his bridge of his nose with his knuckles. “I’m not blaming you, why are you talking like that?”

 

“Like what?! What’s wrong with my talking?” Changmin’s voice rose.

 

Yunho breathed slowly, head hug low, feeling glances from people around.

 

“Alright! I know, it’s all my fault! Everything is-“

 

“Changmin,” Yunho gripped Changmin’s arm. “Stop it.”

 

Changmin stood up abruptly, pulled away from Yunho’s hold, and walked, acted like nothing happened. The crushed can hurt his palm, but he tried to find comfort in it. He kept walking, didn’t look back, didn’t hear footsteps chasing after him, but he didn’t care. Whatever.

 

As time went by, he became calmer and his brain remembered something. Something he had done. Something that had been messing with his mind. He was already in a relationship with Yunho, but he was making out with another girl. He already told himself that it was fine, people do that all the time. It was just kissing and nothing else.

 

His steps went slow, because deep inside his heart, he knew he did a mistake. It was not right. And Yunho… he was the sinner, but why the hell Changmin treated the older that way? The guilt came late, he looked around, searching for his lover.

 

When he turned around, Yunho was there, behind him all the time.

 

Changmin almost cried. From the relief, the guilt, the happiness, and every emotion Yunho made him felt.

 

Yunho was unmoving, just watching him, and Changmin realized how exhausted the man must be. His baggy eye and loose tie made him looked older overnight.

 

“Can you hug me?” Changmin whispered. “Please?”

 

Yunho took one, two steps towards him, and when he was within reach, Changmin didn’t hesitate to slung his arms around those wide shoulders. Yunho was slow to hug him back, but Changmin was breathing again when he felt those strong arms went around his hips. “I’m sorry…” he mouthed to Yunho’s collar.

 

“Me too.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin held Yunho tighter, and when he felt the man caressed his head, he felt like he was forgiven.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin planned to meet Yunho after work, it should be a little surprise because he didn’t tell the man beforehand. He’d just wait in his apartment, wanted to cook a dinner but Yunho’s fridge was empty. When it was almost seven and Yunho wasn’t coming yet, he called him. Maybe he’d tell him to buy something to eat.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“I’m picking up my mother in the train station, Min.” Yunho said. “Do you want to come over? My mother will bring so many food!”

 

Changmin wasn’t ready to meet Yunho’s parents. And he thought maybe he should let the older to have some quality time with his family. “No, it’s okay.” He gathered his things and ready to leave.

 

“Alright then, I’ll make sure to leave some food for you, Min-ah.”

 

Changmin smiled a little. “Thanks. See you,”

 

“See you!”

 

Changmin went out from Yunho’s apartment and locked the door. He walked to the bus station and waiting for the ride back home. He was about to board the bus when he saw a familiar figure just across the street.

 

It was Yunho.

 

He wasn’t alone, accompanying by a woman, arms linked to each other and Yunho laughed at something she said. The woman fed Yunho a piece of topokki in her hand before she ate too, and Yunho wiped her lips clean from the sauce.

 

A student bumped against him because he was getting in the bus, and Changmin got back to the reality. He boarded the bus at the last second, and quickly went to the closest window to see if the man was really Yunho.

 

It really was him.

 

Only Yunho who could smile that bright, eyes crinkled in genuine happiness with high apple cheek. That smile Changmin thought Yunho would do the one he loves. But apparently Changmin wasn’t the only one.

 

 

*

 

 

It was his third soju bottle and Changmin found it hard to pour the liquid to the little glass. His mind filled with questions; who was that woman? Why did he lie to him? Didn’t he say he was meeting his mother? Why did Yunho look so happy with her? Does he look that happy when he’s with me..?

 

Changmin sighed as he answered that question. No. Probably not. Yunho wouldn’t be that happy when he was with Changmin. He still remembered the last fight he had with Yunho. Everything was his fault. They rarely met but Changmin was such an ass during their date night.

 

But was that an excuse to cheat on him?

 

Changmin put down the soju bottle with a loud thud and ordered another one.

 

“You didn’t come to my class.”

 

Changmin lifted his head to see who was talking. He snorted. “You follow me?”

 

“I brought you to this bar. This is my territory. I should be the one asking that.” Ms Lee said, took a seat in front of him. “What kind of rough night a university student like you could have, huh?”

 

Changmin put down his glass. “Not your business.”

 

“I almost forget that university student could be bratty.” She mumbled.

 

Changmin looked at her. “You haven’t told me your name.”

 

“Why do you want to know?” she stole Changmin’s glass and filled it herself.

 

“It’s unfair.” Changmin said. “The world’s unfair. You’re unfair. Hey, I’m paying that, you no drinking…”

 

Ms Lee giggled, letting Changmin took back his glass. “You drunk.” She said amusedly.

 

“I’m stingy with my food and drink. It’s just me.”

 

“Too bad,” she played with her hair. “If you’re drunk, I’m telling you my name.”

 

Changmin just smirked. He stood up and leaned closer to her, kissing her.

 

“Lee Rak,” she said to his lips.

 

Changmin chuckled. “But I’m not drunk.”

 

“I think you are.” She said, and Changmin could feel her wet tongue against his lower lip.

 

He remembered a car ride, a soft, clean bed sheet. He remembered unclasping her lacy bra, touching the wetness between her legs. He remembered moaning Ms Lee’s name when she was blowing him to a painful hardness before putting on the condom. He remembered screaming her name when he fucked her from behind, remember hearing her breathy gasps when she was riding him.

 

He remembered it all when he woke up in a foreign bedroom. Ms Lee was probably in the bathroom, and he quietly wore his clothes quickly, before leaving her place. He stopped a passing taxi and quickly got in, closing his eyes as he tried to calm the banging inside his head.

 

Someone called him and he checked, it was Kyuhyun. “Where are you?”

 

“I think I’m skipping the first class.” Changmin said.

 

Kyuhyun hummed. “Rough night?”

 

Changmin just sighed. “Hey, can I use your room now?” Kyuhyun lived in the dormitory, and sometimes Changmin stayed over at his place.

 

“Sure. Key’s at usual place.” Kyuhyun said. “See you.”

 

Changmin’s head still felt heavy when he replied his mother’s texts. And read the unread chat from Yunho.

 

It was a photo, taken in Yunho’s apartment kitchen. He was with his mother, and… and unknown woman. Changmin squinted his eyes, and realized it was the woman he saw across the street yesterday.

 

_Yunho:_

_Minnie~ I’m with my sister & my mom~ I’m so happy :D_

_Hv u eat ur dinner?? I’m so full of food and love here, heehee~_

_Saranghae changminnie :**_

 

So…

 

The woman was Yunho’s sister.

 

Why… why Changmin didn’t think of it before? How could he think Yunho was cheating on him?

 

The flashback of him having sex with someone else played fast in his mind, before anchoring to his home port called Yunho. The dizziness of his hangover was nothing compared to the lump of guilt in his chest.

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lee rak is the name of tvxq's dancer, the blonde one. she took many selcas with our oppas   
> anyway, i read an article about her teaches art, or graduated in that major, i don't quite remember.  
> pretty & smart, she's one of my favorite :))  
> & oh, pls don't hate changmin too hard in this one :"(


	4. Chapter 4

 

It had been three days since Changmin visited Gwangju, but no words heard from Yunho ever since. Kyuhyun urged him to call the man because he said Changmin was a pain in the ass, whining over and over about their problem.

 

Changmin didn’t tell Kyuhyun that he cheated on him with their Painting teacher, though. And Kyuhyun seemed like having a new interest with a new junior in his Engineering Class.

 

“But what if he’s not answering?” Changmin asked, again.

 

“Then nothing’s happen! You’re not talking to him, you’re not fixing the relationship! Do you still want him or not!?” Kyuhyun was upset when he knew Changmin cheated on Yunho, but the pity was also there when the man confessed crying, ugly with his tears and snot that wet his face. Changmin had been spending night in Kyuhyun’s dorm lately.

 

“I think he hates me now…” Changmin’s voice was small.

 

“Of course, idiot!” Kyuhyun was agitated. “But it’s Yunho Hyung and you’re his Changminnie…” he sighed. “You better mend this well, Shim.”

 

Changmin had been looking at Yunho’s phone number for ages. Kyuhyun was right. It was Yunho… _it’s his Yunho._ He touched the call button and waited. The line was engaged and it pumped his heart to a crazy beat.

 

“Hello?”

 

Changmin almost cry when he heard Yunho’s voice.

 

“Hello?” Yunho repeated.

 

“Hello, Yunho?” he quickly replied. “This… this is Changmin…”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

Yunho was always had this excited tone when he talked to Changmin. But now the man spoke to him in a low, uninterested, low pitch. Changmin frowned at that. “Um… you’re back in Seoul?”

 

“Since Monday.”

 

“… oh.” Changmin looked down and bit his lip, ignoring Kyuhyun’s curious gesture.

 

“Why you call me?”

 

Changmin’s heart stopped. Right. He should’ve known what he was going to say to Yunho. He had been contemplating to call or not, without knowing what he would say.

 

Yunho’s heavy sigh could be heard. “I’m a little busy now. Shall I call you back?”

 

“No,” Changmin answered. “I mean, I will! … I’ll call you.” He quickly added.

 

“Okay. Bye.”

 

“Okay. Uh, Yunho-“

 

Yunho was already disconnected the call.

 

Changmin’s heart never been broken that way before.

 

“What? What did he say?” Kyuhyun asked impatiently.

 

“He’s busy.” Changmin threw his phone to the bed and lay tiredly on it, limbs sprawled randomly.

 

“And?”

 

“He asked if he should call me later.” Changmin’s voice muffled by the pillow.

 

Kyuhyun jumped to the bed, beside Changmin. “Then it’s a good thing!”

 

Changmin stilled, before gave his bestfriend a look. “It is?”

 

“If he offered to call you, means that he still cares. He still wants to contact you, right!?”

 

Changmin thought Kyuhyun was right, but his expression turned dark. “You haven’t heard the way he talks to me.”

 

“What? How?” Kyuhyun’s raised his eyebrow.

 

“So cold and… it’s like he hates me or something.”

 

“Min, you should be thankful that’s the way he treated you. If I were him, I’d cut off your penis, darling.”

 

Changmin shivered at the thought, and knew that he deserved that, or even worse. What he had done was unforgivable.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho stared at his phone.

 

His senior put another stacks of paper he needed to check, and it made him look away, concentrating back to his work. He was a bit grateful for the busy day, it distracted his mind away from Changmin.

 

_“I cheated on you.”_

Yunho blinked away the memory and breathed out slowly. Even his piling work wouldn’t help, huh.

 

“Jung Yunho-sshi?”

 

Yunho looked up and saw a man standing in front of his table. He wasn’t that tall, but with his broad shoulders, made him looked strong and full of authority. His face was more to the cute side, though, with his small eyes and sweet smile. “Yes?” Yunho quickly stood up.

 

“I’m Lee Minwoo, I’m replacing Mrs Yoo, your department head when she’s on maternity leave.” He said.

 

“Oh, nice to meet you, Sir.” Yunho quickly bowed and accepted Minwoo’s firm handshake.

 

“I see you’re very engrossed in your job, Yunho-sshi,” Minwoo said, eyes exploring Yunho’s messy table.

 

Yunho laughed awkwardly, did what he could to make his working place more presentable.

 

“It’s almost 6, Mr Jung. Are you not going home?” he asked.

 

“Ah, well, there are still some things I need to do…” Yunho said.

 

He lifted one of his eyebrow. “Are you complaining?”

 

“No!” Yunho quickly answered. “Of course no, Sir.” He added to ensure his boss.

 

Lee Minwoo smirked. “Mrs Yoo gave me a very good record about you, Mr Jung,” he said. “I’ll see if you can live to my expectation.” he left.

 

Yunho watched Minwoo walked away and disappearing to the elevator, before he sat down and sighed.

 

Well that distracted his mind well.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin fell asleep clutching to his phone the whole night. He sent a chat to Yunho, asking if he was done yet, but the later didn’t reply. Kyuhyun told him to just call, but Changmin didn’t want to bother Yunho further. Kyuhyun frowned, turned off the lights and told him to sleep. He wasn’t sleeping well, though, he startled awoke time to time, checking his phone just to find Yunho was yet to reply.

 

He woke up early, got ready, and Kyuhyun awoke when Changmin opened the door. “It’s not even 6 yet, where are you going?”

 

“To Yunho’s.” Changmin tied his shoelace.

 

“I thought I heard you don’t want to bother him further…” Kyuhyun mumbled.

 

Changmin stilled. “Do you think it’s bothersome?”

 

Kyuhyun quickly regretted the words he said. Changmin became fickle lately, and he overagonize when he was about to do something for Yunho.

 

“Just- buy him breakfast.” Kyuhyun said.

 

“Of course!” Changmin replied. “See you at class, Kyu!”

 

Kyuhyun heard the door close, and back to dreamland, unconsciously wishing his bestfriend wouldn’t do something stupid.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho was about to give up and decided to finish everything tomorrow, but after Mr Lee Minwoo’s visit, he started to work again like a horse.

 

He got home at 3 am, didn’t bother to shower or even taking off his clothes, but went straight to sleep. Unfortunately, the alarm clock rang loud just when he thought he just slept for a blink. He groaned and reached out to the clock, turning it off.

 

Maybe he could spend just 15 minutes more in bed. He was so dead tired.

 

Yunho closed his eyes. But then heard a sound in the kitchen. He forced himself to go back to sleep, but there was another clank. He cursed and got up from bed, neck aching as he slept in uncomfortable position. Complaining about his hard life in his mind, Yunho walked to the kitchen.

 

“Hi! Uh… good morning?”

 

Yunho blinked away his sleepiness and looked at the tall figure behind his stove. “Changmin?”

 

The younger was so awkward, almost like a thief caught in hand. “I bring you breakfast. Um… you usually already woken up at this hour, so I came, but you’re still in bed. I think I’ll just leave the food here because I don’t want to wake you…” he saw Yunho’s clothes, the older seemed went to sleep right away when he got back from work and didn’t even take off his tie, just loosening it a bit.

 

“Oh.” Yunho’s brain could only understand less than half of Changmin’s words. “You let yourself in?”

 

“I’m sorry for barging in.” Changmin quickly said.

 

He looked so guilty and small and Yunho hated to see him like that. To know that he made Changmin that way. “It’s not what I mean,” he said. “It’s fine,” he added as Changmin was taking his bag, ready to leave.

 

The silent fell deep between them.

 

“I… actually… I came because… you haven’t replied to my texts.” Changmin felt dumb inside. He actually came because _I want to see you, Yunho._

“Ah, sure, sure…” Yunho nodded and cleared his throat. “You want to talk, right?”

 

Changmin bit his lip. Yunho was still at that very same spot outside his bedroom, didn’t even move an inch closer to where he was. “…yeah.”

 

“But I have to go to the office.”

 

That was something Changmin knew Yunho would say.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Changmin just nodded slowly. “Right.” He clutched at his bag, looking at the chicken porridge and eggroll he presented on the table. Can’t Yunho just take a little time to eat, or even look at him properly?, he thought. He knew it was his fault at the first place, but couldn’t Yunho appreciate what he had done?

 

He said nothing else as he wore his shoes, and when he was about to leave, he saw Yunho entering the bathroom.

 

The breakfast untouched.

 

 

*

 

 

“How is it?” Kyuhyun asked as they walked together to their class.

 

“I came at the wrong time.” Changmin muttered. “Or maybe he just doesn’t want to see me.”

 

“So… you’ll call him again?” Kyuhyun asked. “Or are you gonna visit him?”

 

“I really think it’s best to see him face to face.” Changmin said. “But it’s not like he wants to see my face.”

 

Kyuhyun laughed, but stopped when he saw how serious Changmin was. “I think you should chase him, Min.” he said. “Just like how he chased you in the old time.” He took a seat in the back.

 

Changmin sat down and looked at Kyuhyun. “What do you mean?”

 

“Do you remember how you always reject Yunho Hyung back then? He never stopped no matter how cruel you are.” Kyuhyun replied. “And what he’s done to you is nothing compared to what you’ve done to him.”

 

“I’m not that cruel!” Changmin said in a loud whisper because the lecturer had entered the class.

 

Kyuhyun ignored what he said. “And you deserve it. Like karma.”

 

“What should I do, then?”

 

“Anything! You brought him breakfast, why not lunch, dinner, snacks as well?”

 

“He didn’t even touch the breakfast!”

 

“So you gonna give up now?”

 

The lecturer looked at their direction, and the boys pretended to take notes.

 

 

*

 

 

Lee Minwoo freed Yunho off his works, but demanded him to come with him during the meeting. He somehow became Mr Lee’s secretary or something, because not only during meeting, the head department requested for his company for almost the entire working time.

 

Yunho kinda missed his old routine, because with Mr Lee, he could never know the meaning behind those smirks. And those words he said, Yunho didn’t know if it was a real statement or sarcastic remarks. Like when he was asked to give an opinion during a board meeting, Mr Lee who sat next to him said, “Oh very good, Yunho-sshi,” Yunho almost replied a thank you, sir, but Lee Minwoo continued, “Thank you for giving an outdated suggestion. We appreciate it a lot.”

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say. He just wanted to dig a hole and hid there.

 

When Mr Lee ordered coffee to the office boy, and asked if Yunho wanted some, Yunho said that he could make it himself, thank you sir.

 

“Do you think you’re paid to make coffee?” Mr Lee asked.

 

“I’m used to make it myself, Sir.” Yunho replied.

 

“It’s not your job to make coffee in the office.” He said. “Do you think you’re at that low level?”

 

“I don’t think making coffee put ourselves in lower level, Sir,” Yunho said in a respectful tone. “Isn’t everyone have an important part in the company?”

 

Lee Minwoo chuckled, and ordered another coffee for Yunho. “A little too naïve for that smart brain of yours,”

 

He didn’t know what to do when he finished work that early because that just never happened before. So Yunho decided to go to the convenience store to buy dinner, smoke a cigarette or two, before finally went home.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin had waited in Yunho’s apartment lobby for an hour. He brought dinner, the pasta he cooked himself. He thought the taste was alright, but Yunho praised him again and again for that simple dish. He also stole Kyuhyun’s wine, he’d buy his friend a new one, he promised.

 

He’d do anything to win Yunho’s heart back. Anything.

 

Changmin sighed and looked around, and realized his left shoelace was untied. When he was bending to tie it, the wine bottle almost fell from the paper bag on his lap, but luckily he caught it just in time. He looked at the clock and let out another sigh, wishing Yunho would arrive soon.

 

When it was almost ten, finally Changmin caught Yunho entering the apartment building. “Yunho!”

 

Yunho was entering the elevator, didn’t hear him. Changmin quickly ran after the man, their eyes met after the older pressed the button of his apartment floor.

 

“Yun-!” Changmin accidentally stepped on his shoelace, fell embarrassingly loud in front of the elevator, and when he looked up, the elevator door closed.

 

That was the first time he wanted to die from embarrassment. As if falling down was not enough, the wine bottle inside his paper bag broke and the content spilled, drenched the bag and even wetted the shiny marble floor.

 

There was nobody there, but Changmin sure there was camera somewhere. He bent down his head to hide his face, cursing his unfortunate and pathetic self, silently cleaning the mess he made though he just wanted to curl in a little ball and disappear.

 

The sound of elevator dings was loud to his ear, and the steps approaching made his heart beat fast. Changmin could accept some scolding and warning, but they wouldn’t ask him for a fine, right? Probably they would forbid him to come here again. But it’d be okay. He wouldn’t have to anyway. It wasn’t like Yunho would like to see him again, anyway.

 

“I’m sorry,” Changmin kneeled and took some pieces of the glass on the floor. “I’ll clean this-“

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Changmin heard the familiar voice and finally lifted his head. Yunho was standing in front of him.

 

“Gosh, Changmin, are you bleeding?” Yunho took Changmin’s hands in his, brought him to stand up.

 

The red wine was all over his fingers, and in a glance it looked like blood.

 

Yunho’s brows furrowed in concern and he scanned Changmin from head to toe. “Are you hurting somewhere?”

 

Changmin just looked at Yunho, his eyes felt hot and the warm tears rolled down to his cheeks.

 

“Changmin, are you okay?” Yunho asked again. “Does it hurt?”

 

“I’m sorry…” Changmin whispered. “I’m so, so sorry…” he sobbed.

 

Yunho’s gaze softened.

 

“I’m sorry, Yunho… I’m sorry…” he couldn’t hold his tears. It just came out, because Yunho came. Yunho came back just when he thought the man left. “I’m sorry…”

 

Yunho didn’t say anything, didn’t move closer to Changmin either. One of the security staff came to see what was going on, and Yunho told him that it was fine.

 

“Come on,” Yunho finally said to Changmin.

 

Changmin quickly wiped his wet face and standing up. He took out the lunchbox from the ruined bag, apologizing to the staff as he threw the bag away. “I cooked dinner for you.” He managed to say when they were alone in the elevator.

 

“I’ve eaten.” Yunho replied flatly. He looked at the mirror to see Changmin’s reflection, head down in disappointment, teeth gnawing his lower lip warily, hands clutching to the black lunchbox he brought.

 

They arrived at Yunho’s floor, but Changmin didn’t walk out. “Then I probably should just go home…” he said quietly, before pressing the elevator button.

 

Yunho held the elevator open just when it was about to close. “Clean up yourself first.” He took the lunchbox from Changmin’s hand and made sure the man followed him, let the younger used his bathroom. He opened the lunchbox when he heard the water ran.

 

Spaghetti carbonara. He remembered trying to cook Changmin this, but in the end the younger cooked it for him because Yunho just didn’t fit well in the kitchen. He remembered licking the white cream off Changmin’s lips, made the younger went red. He remembered washing the dishes after, but then broke a plate, made Changmin yelled in anger, though the later checked if the broken pieces had hurt his hands.

 

“Just throw it away if you don’t want to eat it.”

 

Yunho looked Changmin, face wet with water, probably tears too. His eyes and nose were red. “I’m not throwing it away.”

 

Changmin’s eyes met his, and they were still like that for a moment.

 

“I’ll call you a taxi.”

 

“It’s fine.” Changmin mumbled, thought that it must be Yunho’s polite request to make him leave. “I can… by myself.”

 

Yunho just watched as Changmin headed to the door, but then the younger stopped and turned around.

 

“Do you not love me anymore?”

 

Yunho didn’t realize he had been holding his breath. “Does it matter?”

 

“It does.” Changmin replied. “I don’t want to breakup with you…” his voice trembled. “I’m afraid that I’m losing you, Yunho…”

 

Yunho sighed. “No, Changmin.” he looked at the man deeply. “I lost you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm into shinhwa from the beginning of this year & minwoo is my fav :P anybody here is a changjo too? :0  
> anyway, i read the comments from the previous chapter & uhg i wonder if min's cheating is too much bcos initially i want to write a romantic comedy with very little angst, but somehow this just happen :|  
> but thanks for ur thoughts! i really love that u giving me warm response :D


	5. Chapter 5

 

“Let’s go home.” Kyuhyun said for the tenth time.

 

“Another bottle.” Changmin raised his hand to call the waitress.

 

“No. This one was the last bottle, you said. Now stop and let’s go home.” Kyuhyun prevented Changmin to take another gulp.

 

“If you want to go home that bad just go home yourself.” Changmin said, succeeding in getting another bottle of soju.

 

“I’m not piggybacking you home.” Kyuhyun said in a warning.

 

“You’re not. You’re going home, aren’t you?” Changmin shooing Kyuhyun with his soju bottle.

 

Kyuhyun sighed in defeat. “Listen. I’m going to the bathroom now, and when I’m come back, we’re leaving. Got it? You can carry that bottle or even more, but we. Are. Going. Home.”

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho already brushed his teeth and pulled his blanket, ready for sleep, but his phone rang. It was half past one at night, who’d call him at that time. He really didn’t want anything disturb his resting time.

 

The thought of Mr Lee Minwoo calling came and he quickly picked up the call.

 

“Yunho~~”

 

But it was Changmin though.

 

“Yunho, do you hate me?” Changmin’s voice was slurred, and Yunho could hear faint sob between his words.

 

Yunho sighed. “Are you drunk?”

 

“Do you hate me?” Changmin asked again. “Why do you change? Why you never contact me again? Why you look so sad looking at me… why you become so cold and sooo far, Yunho…”

 

“Go home, Changmin.”

 

“I’m sorry, Yunho. I’m sorry for being such a brat. For being so demanding. For never calling you Hyung. For scolding you when you’re older than me… for cheating on you… I know it’s all my fault, but it won’t happen if you’re with another girl… so it’s your fault too… Yunho…”

 

“What do you mean I’m with another girl?”

 

“You’re never with another girl!” Changmin sobbed. “You’re with your sister… it’s my fault to misunderstand… Yunho… why am I so blind? How can I be so stupid…”

 

Yunho didn’t understand what Changmin was talking about, but it wouldn’t be any use to ask more in the younger’s kind of state. He looked at the clock, it was half past one. “Min, you should go home. Where are you now?”

 

“I’m sorry, Yunho… please…” Changmin begged. “Please forgive me…”

 

Yunho just listened. It didn’t matter what he replied, Changmin didn’t seem to responding to it anyway.

 

“Please, Yunho… you can never lose me… aren’t I your Changminnie, Yunho? Why you never call me that… Changminnie… I’m your Changminnie,… and I let you call me Minsarang, what happened to that? I have let you…” Changmin cried. “I let you to have my heart… why…”

 

“I let you have mine too, Min.” Yunho said sadly. “But why you broke it?”

 

Changmin cried harder, so pitifully, so hurtful, and Yunho wanted to hug him, kissed the tears away and protected him, no matter how Changmin had torn his heart to pieces.

 

Yunho heard voices, sounded like Kyuhyun, telling him to go home, and Changmin kept refusing. There was a loud thud, Changmin’s phone fell to the table.

 

“No, no, not until Yunho love me again!” Changmin cried, and Kyuhyun deep sigh could be heard. “He hates me… Yunho hates me…”

 

“Changmin,” Kyuhyun’s voice was patient. “He’d never hate you.”

 

Yunho closed his eyes and disconnected the call.

 

Kyuhyun was right. He could never hate Changmin.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin woke up around mid day, cursing because he already missed two classes, but Kyuhyun came to the dorm during lunchtime.

 

“I told them you’re sick.” Kyuhyun said, bringing two bentos.

 

“God, you’re a savior,” Changmin said thankfully, receiving one of the bento. “Did something happen last night?”

 

Kyuhyun sat on the floor beside Changmin, started to eat. “Just you being an ass.” he shrugged. “By the way, I think you called someone though. Probably Yunho Hy-“

 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

 

Kyuhyun jumped in shock, the karage between his chopsticks slipped and fell.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Changmin panicked, searched for his phone and found it under the bed. “Fuck,” he muttered. The battery was low and the screen turned off just when he unlocked it. He had to charge it first before quickly checking the call logs.

 

Kyuhyun just watched his friend went here and there, agitated and cursing once in a while.

 

“I DID!” Changmin screamed. “Fuck, I really did, I fucking did it… I called him… shit… fuck…” he gripped the innocent phone tight. “What should I do, Kyu? Gosh… isn’t it embarrassing… why didn’t you prevent me from calling him?!”

 

“I went to the bathroom and you were calling someone. I was forcing you to go home and the phone fell, when I saw the caller ID, I saw Yunho Hyung’s name there. So…” Kyuhyun explained calmly. “Nothing can be done!” he quickly added before Changmin ranted again. “It’s already happened.”

 

Changmin fell lifelessly to the floor. He wasn’t feeling like eating anymore.

 

“Well, after that, I realized how much you still love him, Min.” Kyuhyun said slowly.

 

“Yeah. I didn’t realize that I love him this much too,” Changmin said half sarcastically.

 

Kyuhyun looked at the taller. “So, what you should do now?”

 

Changmin was thinking. Hard. “Beg him to come back to me?”

 

Kyuhyun hit head. “No, idiot! You win him again!”

 

Changmin blinked. “What?”

 

“Go get your man back, Shim! If you want him back, work your ass for it! Seduce him, win his heart again!” Kyuhyun exclaimed. “Before it’s too late and he became colder.”

 

“But Kyu~” Changmin whined.

 

“Or!” Kyuhyun cut. “He’ll be taken by someone who deserves him more than you,” he threatened.

 

 

*

 

 

Jaejoong worked as an internship in a boutique and Yoochun worked in his father’s company. They met Yunho in a café during lunchtime, it was a rare occasion when he could meet old friends.

 

“We meet up everytime, but you never there,” Jaejoong said to Yunho.

 

Yunho gave an apologetic smile, but they knew he was busy. “Where’s Junsu?”

 

“Oh, haven’t I told you he teaches a soccer club for little kids… it’s so cute because they’re so small…” Yoochun grinned.

 

“You look like you want a son right now…” Jaejoong licked the whipped cream off his straw.

 

“I’d rather have a daughter, you know? I think it’s scary to have a son…” Yoochun mumbled, took a bite of his chocolate cake.

 

“I think it’s all the same,” Jaejoong shrugged and leaned back.

 

“I know lots of bad guys. I’m afraid my son will be like one of them,”

 

“… you mean us?”

 

“Hyung?” Yoochun looked at Yunho, didn’t want to offense Jaejoong so he tried to divert the conversation. “You’re a little quiet today?”

 

“Ah?” Yunho startled. “No, just… uh… so… what about you and Junsu? You meet him often?” Yunho asked slowly.

 

Yoochun hummed. “Not really. I only free during weekends, but he’s teaching.” He frowned a bit.

 

The thing was, Yunho didn’t know who to ask. And how to do it subtly. “If Junsu cheated on you, what would you do?” he just spat out those words.

 

Yoochun’s eyes popped out, and Jaejoong stopped munching his bread.

 

“If.” Yunho repeated, put some pressure on the word. “I said if.”

 

Yoochun exhaled, folded his arms, visibly annoyed at the thought. “Well, it depends.”

 

Yunho was confused.

 

“What kind of cheating are you talking about? Is it just kissing? Or making out? Or… having sex too?” Yoochun said.

 

“You mean, what level,” Jaejoong corrected, and Yoochun nodded.

 

Yunho bit his lip. “What about the worst one?”

 

“He loves the other guy more than you.” Jaejoong said.

 

The thought punched Yunho in the gut. What if Changmin had another lover? That he found someone much better than him. It never passed his mind before, but he should’ve thought about that. Changmin was like a dream, he was so gorgeous and smart, kind and sweet. Although he was quiet, he actually cared a lot for the one he loved. Of course there would be tons of men wanted to be with him.

 

Jaejoong kept his eye on Yunho, looking at the man sharply and realized something. “Why? Changmin cheated on you?”

 

Yunho cleared his throat and looked away.

 

“Fuck, really Hyung?” Yoochun asked.

 

Jaejoong’s fingers tapped on the table. “What, he has another lover or something? You saw him with someone-“

 

“He told me.” Yunho said in a small voice, still looking down.

 

“He told you he cheated on you?” Jaejoong asked.

 

“Oh, fuck...” Yunho sighed and took a gulp of his espresso when his eyes caught someone entering the café.

 

“What is it?” Yoochun asked confusedly.

 

Yunho cursed in his mind only, because his boss was approaching and he couldn’t ruin his image. “Good afternoon, Sir,”

 

“Yunho-sshi,” Lee Minwoo gave him a professional smile. “I’m sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I’ve been trying to contact you for this past-“ he looked at his watch, “30 minutes…”

 

Yunho quickly took out his phone and there were seven missed calls from Mr Lee. “Ah, I apologize, Sir-“

 

“But this is his break time.” Jaejoong said, tried to defend Yunho, though the later just wished Jae would shut his mouth.

 

“I know,” Lee Minwoo gave his sweet eye smile to Jaejoong. “That’s why I said I’m sorry.”

 

Jaejoong looked at his food, pretended that he didn’t say anything before.

 

“You will be joining me for the meeting in Anyang at 3 pm. We’re going at 1 o’clock and check your email, I’ve sent the material and report we needed to bring there.” Minwoo said.

 

“Alright, Sir,” Yunho replied.

 

“I will see you in the office, then. Good afternoon.” Minwoo smiled to Jaejoong and Yoochun, took the coffee he ordered beforehand and walked out the door.

 

“He’s both cute and hot. I want him.” Jaejoong sucked on his straw seductively, eyes straight to Minwoo’s ass while Yunho was ready to leave. “Did you hear when he said ‘ _Sorry’_? Gosh I’ll make him beg for my cock-“

 

Yunho hit Jaejoong in the head before leaving.

 

Yoochun laughed, but it faded when he remembered something. “What about that, then?”

 

“What?” Jaejoong looked at Yoochun.

 

“Changmin thing.”

 

Jaejoong looked at Yoochun and nodded slowly. “Did you hear Yunho mentioned the name of that hot ass?”

 

Yoochun wanted to hit Jaejoong too, but he couldn’t because Jae was the Hyung.

 

 

*

 

 

“Yunho,” Changmin called when he saw the man got out from his office building.

 

Yunho put back his cigarette to his bag when the younger approached him.

 

“Hey,” Changmin smiled hesitantly. “Do you want to have a meal with me? I’ll pay. You haven’t had your dinner, right?”

 

“I’m not hungry.” Yunho replied, because he was too tired to eat or do anything. But his answer changed Changmin expression so drastic that made him regretted his words.

 

“What about coffee? Or snacks?” Changmin tried to manage his feeling, masked his crushed expression.

 

Yunho already had coffee in the morning. And lunch. And during the meeting. He thought he’d be caffeine overdosed.

 

Changmin’s toothy grin faded and Yunho thought the man was going to cry, but the younger forced to widen his smile again. “It’s getting hotter nowadays, isn’t it? What about ice cream? We haven’t visited Mrs Kim for ages…”

 

“The shop’s already closed at this hour.” Yunho said flatly after he took a glance to his watch.

 

Changmin bit his lip and looked down, thoroughly defeated like a kicked puppy.

 

Yunho gave up. “I think I’m thirsty.”

 

Changmin lifted his head and Yunho thought he saw the younger’s eyes lighted up when they were looking at him. “Isn’t there’s a new bubble tea shop a block away? Should we try that?”

 

Yunho nodded and Changmin smiled widely and led the way.

 

“You… finish early today,” Changmin tried to make small talk, a little awkward because it felt like a very long time since they had a conversation.

 

“Yeah,” Yunho said. An hour late was still considered early, remembering how he used to finish at least three hour later than the working hour.

 

“Um, that’s great.” Changmin didn’t know what to say, because usually Yunho would be the talkative one, and he’d just followed along the topic.

 

Yunho could see the bubble tea shop was already closed, the lights were off. But Changmin hadn’t seen it yet. Instead of telling him and stop walking, Yunho just following the steps Changmin took, remembering the good old days when they used to walk together close, their holding hands trapped between their bodies.

 

“Oh, it’s closed,” Changmin frowned.

 

Yunho just hummed, a bit curious of how Changmin would take this.

 

“Do you… want to go somewhere else?” Changmin asked.

 

Yunho sighed and looked around.

 

“You must be tired…” Changmin mumbled, didn’t look at Yunho in the eye.

 

“Shouldn’t you go home too?” Yunho asked. “Your parents will be wondering why you’re late.”

 

“I crashed at Kyuhyun’s dorm lately. So it’s okay.” Changmin said, stood face to face with Yunho. He stole a glance to the older who was looking at him all along. “I actually want to apologize… for last night.”

 

 _So this is what is it,_ Yunho thought.

 

“I don’t remember calling you, it was unintentional, I swear,” Changmin added. “Did I say something stupid or… I don’t know…” he looked at Yunho, a bit afraid of the older’s reaction.

 

“I have a question for you.” Yunho said.

 

Changmin was listening.

 

“What do you mean I’m with another girl? You said something like that…” Yunho asked.

 

Changmin tried hard to remember. Fuck, so he said that? “No, I was… it’s my fault.” He took a deep breath. “I… I misunderstood. I saw you with a girl and I thought you were…” his words faltered. “I thought you were seeing her behind my back…” Changmin felt like a huge idiot as he told the story. “But then you sent me a photo with your mother and your sister and I realized that she’s actually your sister…”

 

Yunho focused at the man in front of him as he processed the words. “So you cheated on me because you thought I was cheated on you?”

 

Changmin closed his eyes, thoroughly embarrassed and regretted his dumb conclusion. “…yes.” He whispered.

 

Yunho exhaled, tried to contain his anger. “I don’t know which one hurts more,” he stared at Changmin, frustrated and sad. “The fact that you cheated on me, or that you don’t trust me enough.”

 

Changmin’s head hung low in guilt.

 

“Was it like revenge or something?”

 

“No!” Changmin quickly replied. “I’m just so upset and I lost my mind… and the next thing I know, I- I…”

 

“What?” Yunho demanded. “What did you do?”

 

“I slept with someone…” Changmin’s voice trembled.

 

“It was a one night stand?” Yunho asked again.

 

Changmin really regretted what he had done, because he just realized how hard it was to be honest to the man you love. But he knew he had to do that, he had to tell him the truth, let it all out. “I kissed her before.”

 

Yunho felt like his chest was being punched over and over. “Before? You’re dating this girl?!”

 

“No! It’s not like that!”

 

“What the fuck, Changmin!” Yunho yelled, the veins on his temple visible, jaw clenched, chest heaving.

 

Changmin startled, heard pounding so loud he could hear every beat in his ear. He never saw Yunho lost his temper like that.

 

“Who am I to you?!” Yunho’s voice went hoarse. “Am I not the only one? How can you be so unfaithful?! Am I not enough? Everything I’ve give, everything I’ve done, is it not enough?” he took a step closer to Changmin. “All my love… is it not enough?”

 

Changmin’s tears glistened in the dark. “I’m sorry. Really, Yunho… I’m so sorry…”

 

Yunho punched the nearest wall, the skin his knuckles peel and it started to bleed, but he couldn’t feel anything. Everything was just numb.

 

And Changmin just hated himself more, for all the things he had done, for making Yunho like this.

 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

 

Yunho’s words were like thunder, and Changmin’s world fell as he saw the man, refused to look at him. “Yunho, please…” Changmin knew he was begging, but he couldn’t hold it.

 

Yunho looked away and held his hands up.

 

“I love you…” Changmin said. He needed to say it at least, just in case he had no more chance.

 

Yunho shook his head slowly. “I can’t say those words back to you.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Changmin saw the blood on Yunho’s hand. He bought ointment and band aid in the closest convenience store, relieved to find out that Yunho wasn’t leaving. They sat on the bench in front of the store. The older didn’t say anything as Changmin took his hand, cleaning his wounded knuckles with water, and treating it with the ointment.

 

“Is it hurts?” Changmin asked, the skin was bruised deeply.

 

Yunho didn’t answer.

 

“Do you hate me so much?” Changmin asked when he put on the band aid.

 

Yunho was quiet.

 

Changmin breathed out, quietly tracing Yunho’s hand with his fingers. Letting go slowly though he didn’t want to. The silence was killing him inside. He knew there was nothing left between them, but he couldn’t leave either. Not when he thought that would be the last time he spent with Yunho.

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

Changmin lifted his head.

 

“I can’t.” Yunho whispered. “If I were the one who cheated on you… what would you do?”

 

Changmin was deep in thought.

 

“Will you forgive me?” Yunho asked again. “But… maybe I’m the one who can’t forgive myself if I deceived you. Do you feel that way too?”

 

“Worse.” Changmin looked at Yunho. “Because I’ve betrayed you thinking you lied to me, but in fact, you’ve never done wrong.”

 

Yunho breathed out.

 

“I want to ask you a favor.”

 

Yunho looked at him.

 

“Please let me try again.” Changmin said. “I will do anything to make this relationship works, Yunho. I know it’s hard for you, but please don’t push me away-“

 

“How can I?” Yunho cut, eyed the other man sadly. “Now, everytime I look at you, I see you kissing a faceless woman. I thinking of you naked with her, riding her on bed,… those nasty images don’t go easily…”

 

Changmin replied, “But everytime I look at you, I remember our old times... I remember walking side by side with you, holding hands. I remember you looking at me, with the expression that’s so different with the one you giving me now. I remember you smiling so dumbly that I just can’t help but smile too… I miss texting you. I miss your touch. I miss everything about us…”

 

Yunho turned his face away in denial. Hated to admit missed those times too.

 

“That’s why I’m not letting go, Yunho.” Changmin said again. “I’m not letting go of you.”

 

Yunho looked back to Changmin.

 

“Didn’t you say you give me your love unconditionally?” Changmin told him. “I don’t have any plan to give it back, I’m going to keep it forever.”

 

Yunho could see Changmin’s lips twitched to a small smile.

 

“I’m coming for you, Yunho. You can take that as a warning.”

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin really did coming for him.

 

He started by texting the good mornings with tons of smileys. Yunho knew it was his role. He remembered Changmin complained of how childish it was, but look at that. The suns, smiling faces and hearts filled his phone monitor.

 

Reading Changmin’s text over and over made him late for shower, thus, almost late for work.

 

The staff in the front desk stopped him before he went to his room, giving him a paper bag.

 

“For me?”

 

“For you,” Taeyeon smiled. “A tall handsome guy told me to give this to you.”

 

Yunho opened the bag to see the content. A bottle of warm cappuccino and croissant, there was a written message too.

 

_morning, hyung! a little booster just in case u forget ur breakfast : >_

_eat up & kick their ass <3 _

_changmin ><_

“You have a very cute brother…” Taeyeon said, read the message as well.

 

Yunho quickly put back the paper inside the bag and cleared his throat. “Thank you.” He went to his room and put the bag on the table, took out the paper and read it once again, smiling to himself.

 

“Yunho-sshi,”

 

Yunho startled and by instinct crumpled the paper, put it inside his suit pocket. “Yes, Sir?”

 

Lee Minwoo was looking at him suspiciously from the door.

 

“Anything I can help you, Sir?” Yunho asked again.

 

“Yes. Come with me. And wipe that silly grin off your face.”

 

*

 

 

“This is exceptional.” Kyuhyun commented when he accompanied Changmin shopping.

 

“I need some kitchen utensils so I can make better food.” Changmin explained, contemplated between two pans.

 

“Have you ever thought of going back home so you can… uh, I dunno, express yourself more with the new recipes?” Kyuhyun asked. “With complete pans and spatula,” he looked at the cart content.

 

“My mother will ask so many questions,” Changmin replied, going to the next isle.

 

“Do you never think of giving any other thing beside food?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

“What, then?”

 

“I don’t know… pen? Watch? Something that he needs.”

 

“Food is something he needs.”

 

Kyuhyun gave him a look.

 

“But those kinds of things are expensive!” Changmin pouted.

 

“He’s given you many gifts!” Kyuhyun exclaimed. “That limited edition lego, and the belt you wore right now, and what about the-“

 

“I understand!” Changmin cut.

 

“He’s given like, tenfold from what you’ve given to him…” Kyuhyun said. “Do you really love him?”

 

“I just believe that love can’t be measured by material.”

 

Kyuhyun gave Changmin a judging look. “I’m just glad we’re not boyfriends.”

 

“What should we eat today, then?” Changmin asked, changed the topic as they headed to cashier.

 

Kyuhyun hummed. “Steak!” he said happily. “I have this very good 1970s wine and it’d be a fantastic dinner.”

 

Changmin hadn’t told Kyu he stole the wine. And wanted to cry at the fact that he hadn’t sipped it even a bit. “What about samgyeopsal and soju? I’ll treat you.”

 

 

*

 

 

 

He could see Changmin waiting outside his apartment building.

 

His steps went slow as he watched the younger leaned on the telephone box, standing on those thin legs of his, waiting. Yunho didn’t know how long he had waited, but he wanted to know. Changmin tightened his jacket and looked at his phone, before put it inside his pocket, and took it out again, put it inside again.

 

He wanted to make Changmin wait longer, he wanted to know how long Changmin would wait for him. But his little heart didn’t want to let the younger hanging like that. He hated to see the man worry, he didn’t want to make Changmin suffer even a bit.

 

 Changmin saw him.

 

And it felt like the time stopped. It felt like there was only both of them, everyone else disappeared. Yunho stopped walking and Changmin’s little smile turned to a frown, and he looked down.

 

Yunho sighed as he started to walk again. No, he could never win against this boy.

 

“You’ve waited long?” he asked.

 

Changmin startled, didn’t expect that Yunho would talk to him. “No, it’s fine…” he smile again, but a bit insecure.

 

“So…?” Yunho looked at Changmin’s trembling body.

 

“Uh, yeah…” Changmin felt disappointed because Yunho didn’t ask if he wanted to come in. “I brought dinner. If you’re not hungry, you can eat it tomorrow or… never.” His voice got smaller.

 

Yunho looked at the bag Changmin brought. “What is it?”

 

“Samgyeopsal,” Changmin replied. “And kimchi jjigae. I cooked them myself.” He said proudly.

 

Yunho couldn’t help but smiled. “Really?”

 

Changmin’s grinned got wider as he sensed Yunho’s increasing interest. “I hate to say it, but it’s damn good. I even surprised myself.”

 

Yunho chuckled. “Come on, then,”

 

Changmin jumped in victory when Yunho wasn’t looking, and followed the man to the apartment building.

 

“Did you get the breakfast?” Changmin asked when they were in the elevator.

 

Yunho nodded.

 

“Your office is closer to the university so… and I don’t want to disturb your busy morning routine.” Changmin added an awkward laugh.

 

“It’s fine.” Yunho said. “Thank you, by the way. I forgot to reply your chat to say it.”

 

“Ah, it’s okay.” Changmin actually felt sad knowing Yunho forget about him.

 

“Sorry, it’s messy…” Yunho scratched the back of his neck as they entered the apartment.

 

The towel was on the couch, and the pillow fell to the floor. The used cup and half eaten muffin were still on the coffee table. Yunho hadn’t throw away the trash and it started to smell. In the old time, Changmin would scold Yunho and demand him to clean everything. But he just took a deep breath and said, “It’s fine.”

 

“I know it isn’t.” Yunho said, half amused. “But suit yourself.”

 

Changmin didn’t reply and Yunho went to his bedroom. He took off his shoes and couldn’t help but rearranged them, Yunho’s as well. And also the older’s sprawled running shoes. He went to the kitchen and the dishes were piled. Tried to ignore it, Changmin took out the food he brought and reheat the soup.

 

“You must’ve waited long.” Yunho commented, seeing how the jjigae had turned cold.

 

“No, not really.” Changmin offered him a soft smile.

 

Yunho felt like he was with a different person. The Changmin he knew would punch him (not hard, either Changmin was that weak, or he didn’t want to hurt Yunho), and pouted for an hour, or until Yunho bought him snacks, usually something sweet to make his mood better quickly. “Why are you doing this?”

 

“Doing what?” Changmin stirred the soup.

 

“It’s just… feels so weird. You, being like this.”

 

Changmin lifted his head from the stove, looked at Yunho behind him. “What do you mean?”

 

“I know you often bring me food, but… you’re just not yourself.” Yunho shrugged.

 

“Am I not… better now?” Changmin asked slowly, didn’t know what went wrong because he tried really hard to be a good boyfriend, a better one.

 

“Better? Well…” Yunho cleared his throat. “You’re just different.”

 

“So I wasn’t good enough?” Changmin asked, realized his own sin.

 

“You’re good in your way, Changmin.” Yunho stated. “The new you is good, but…”

 

Changmin waited. And smelt something burnt. “Oh shit!” he forgot the jjigae on the stove, cursing under his breath as he turned off the fire.

 

“The old Changmin wouldn’t forget the jjigae on the stove,” Yunho said, took out bowls and plates. “You’re always composed and do everything so well without any mistake. I don’t want you to lose that side of yourself.”

 

“So now you know I can be a mess because of you…” Changmin muttered.

 

Yunho looked at him and Changmin stilled. They stared to each other’s eyes, and Changmin didn’t know when Yunho leaned closer, he just realized it when he could feel they shared the same air to breathe. Changmin closed his eyes when Yunho’s scent invaded his mind, imagining that their lips would meet in a second.

 

But Yunho just brush passed him and took the pot, moving it to the table.

 

Changmin breathed out as the reality hit him. He sat in front of Yunho who already started to eat. “You don’t have to eat that.” he said as Yunho poured the jjigae to his bowl. “I bet it doesn’t taste good.”

 

“It’s fine,” Yunho proved by eating a spoonful. But Changmin was right. It wasn’t taste that good, but wasn’t inedible either. The burnt smell was somehow annoying.

 

“I can bring it home for lunch tomorrow.” Changmin closed the jjigae pot.

 

“But you’re the one saying it’s not good.”

 

“Every food will taste delicious when you’re starving.”

 

Yunho laughed and opened the pot lid. “I’m eating it.”

 

Changmin’s heart swell. “Is it because you’re starving now?”

 

Yunho lifted his shoulders. “I skipped lunch-“

 

“I’ve told you to eat your lunch! See, you’re never-” Changmin protest stopped as soon as it started. “I’m sorry…” he cleared his throat. “Uh, you must be busy…”

 

“But I like it better now,” Yunho said. “I have a new boss, well, he’s only a replacement. But Mr Lee Minwoo is really something. He knows what’s going on from the bottom to the top. He refuses to let anything slide past him. I visited the factory today with him, and I kinda miss it, you know?” he smiled longingly. “I remember my old time making robots and dealing with real things. Not just computers and stupid documents…”

 

Changmin just listened. He forgot how much he missed Yunho’s voice. How little Yunho talked, because whenever they met, everything would be about Changmin. There were times when he asked about Yunho’s job, and the older gladly told him everything, but nothing the younger could understand, so he didn’t mention his work that much anymore.

 

Yunho stopped talking and looked at Changmin staring at him.

 

“I’m glad it’s getting better,” Changmin said, ate a slice of samgyeopsal. “I still keep that lamp you made. And that little robot that brought me lunch too… I don’t know if it’s still working, though.”

 

“I made it years ago. Probably it’s not working anymore.”

 

Changmin didn’t reply. He looked at their empty bowls, regretted that the dinner was almost done, that he had no more reason to stay there. He insisted to clean the dishes and Yunho took a shower. He remembered buying the gloves for washing the dishes. And simple kitchen set when Yunho just moved in his apartment.

 

Kyuhyun was right. He gave nothing to Yunho. But Yunho gave everything to him, even when they hadn’t date each other yet.

 

“I think I better go now,” Changmin said when Yunho came out from his bedroom. “I have a morning class and you better rest too…”

 

Yunho just hummed. “Should I call you the taxi?”

 

“No, I still can catch the last bus.” Changmin said, gathering his things.

 

“Alright.” Yunho just watched the man wearing his shoes. “Do you want me to walk you there?” he asked, made the younger’s face went bright.

 

“Yes!” Changmin replied, almost too cheerfully. “Please,” he added.

 

Yunho turned his face to hide his grin, before wore his sandal and walked out together with Changmin.

 

“What do you want to eat tomorrow?” Changmin asked as they walked side by side.

 

“You don’t have to cook for me every day.”

 

“But I want to.” Changmin quickly replied. “Well. Unless you don’t want me too.”

 

“It’s not about what I want, Changmin.” Yunho tried to explain. “It’s about what you want to do.”

 

“I want to do it for you.”

 

Yunho said nothing after that. No more words exchanged until they reached the bus stop.

 

“I remember when you used to walk me to the bus stop before your part time job.” Changmin said. “I miss it.”

 

“We’re doing it now.” Yunho replied.

 

Changmin sighed. “But it feels different, don’t you think?”

 

Yunho agreed, but he didn’t voice that out. The bus came, and he could see how Changmin restrained himself from boarding.

 

“I’m leaving, then…”

 

Yunho nodded. “Take care.”

 

Changmin bit his lips, seemed like wanted to say or do something, but turned around instead, got in the bus. He waved at Yunho, but the older was just looking at him.

 

In the old times, Yunho would wave at him first with his silly toothy grin. And Changmin knew, no matter how many times they parted, they would still meet, they would still find each other somehow, and Yunho would still be his.

 

But now, he felt like every time they weren’t together, Yunho would just forget about him. His existence didn’t matter at all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably u'll think like, 'eh? that's it?' maybe u wonder how easy they reconcile, but yunho hasn't forgive changmin yet ._.  
> he's not saying anything as he's still not sure about his feelings for changmin after knowing the fact that the younger cheated. there will be more in the future chapters.  
> so, what do u think about this one?


	7. Chapter 7

 

The breakfast from Changmin became a routine for him. Taeyeon wasn’t even teasing him anymore, or asking him question because she knew Yunho wouldn’t answer, the man would just saying thank you with a smile.

 

“Is he single?” Taeyeon asked one morning to Yunho as she handed the paper bag.

 

“Why don’t you ask it yourself?” Yunho replied, headed to the elevator. He kinda wished Taeyeon would do that, actually. He wanted to know the answer.

 

The next morning, Taeyeon didn’t greet him. “He said he’s taken.” She huffed.

 

Yunho grinned and opened the paper bag, handing Taeyeon a chocolate chip cookie. “Cheer up, Miss Kim!” he said, before going to his room, leaving a pouting Taeyeon behind.

 

Mr Lee called him when Yunho passed by his room.

 

“Yes, Sir?”

 

“I need you to do the report in the factory today,” he said, put a file on his table for Yunho to take. “I can’t-“ his words cut with a sneeze.

 

“You’re not coming, Sir?” Yunho asked carefully.

 

Minwoo shook his head, took a tissue from his table and wiped his nose.

 

“Are you not feeling well, Sir?” Yunho asked again.

 

“I’m fine.” Minwoo stood up and straightened his suit. “Do your job. I demand the report before lunch time.”

 

“Yes, Sir.” Yunho couldn’t say anything else, but he could hear more sneezes coming from Mr Lee’s room before the boss close the door.

 

He was lucky because that day Donghae was in charge in the factory, it’d make his job easier. He finished earlier and when he went back to the office, Mr Lee wasn’t in his room. Yunho went to his own room and ate the cookie Changmin made, and milk (he felt like a kid all over again but who doesn’t like cookies and milk?), and put the message inside his old agenda.

 

_half of the cookie is burnt T_T  but luckily i can save some for u :D_

_sorry i can’t bring dinner lately, the mid test is coming :( wish me luck hyungie~_

_ur changminnie_

He wished Changmin luck inside his heart, and knew the boy would pass them all like a boss with that smart brain of his. It was almost lunchtime but Mr Lee was yet to be back.

 

“When will he come?” Yunho asked Yuri, Mr Lee’s secretary.

 

“He went to the clinic an hour ago. I think he’s sick.” Yuri said. “I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.”

 

“Yeah, it’s for the report.” Yunho lifted the file. “Thank you, then,”

 

Yuri smiled. “Anytime.”

 

He met up with Jaejoong and Yoochun again for lunch.

 

“You look bright today,” Jaejoong commented. “I already ordered your jjampong.”

 

“Thanks,” Yunho took a seat beside him. “Yoochun’s not coming?”

 

“He’s waiting for Junsu. They’ll come.” Jaejoong said. “Hey, I want to ask you about that thing you said a week ago?”

 

Yunho looked at Jaejoong. “What?”

 

“That Changmin cheated on you.” Jaejoong said in a low tone.

 

“Oh.” Yunho blinked.

 

“What do you mean by ‘oh’?” Jaejoong nudged Yunho impatiently.

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say.

 

“Well?” Jaejoong asked again. “What happened, then? Are you two breakup, or…?”

 

“I don’t think so…” Yunho said quietly.

 

“So you’re trying to make it work?”

 

“I think it’s more like, _he_ making it work…?” Yunho was unsure himself.

 

“Okay…” Jaejoong said slowly. “But what about you?”

 

Yunho lifted his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

 

“Are you gonna take him back?”

 

Yunho didn’t know about that. Luckily Yoochun and Junsu came in, and they got distracted by Junsu’s story of how he almost got fired because one of his students ate a worm when they were practicing soccer. The food came and Yunho tried to ignore Jaejoong’s stare, and for the first time, he felt grateful for Mr Lee Minwoo’s call.

 

“Bring the report after you finish your lunch, Yunho-sshi,”

 

Yunho almost didn’t recognize Mr Lee’s voice because of the flu. “Of course, Sir.”

 

There was still 15 minutes for lunch, but Yunho said he had to leave as he tried to avoid Jaejoong’s further questions about his relationship with Changmin. He arrived five minutes before the lunchtime was over, and Mr Lee Minwoo was already in the office.

 

Yunho gave the report and he could see how red Mr Lee’s nose was before his boss covered his face with the mask. His cheeks were also reddish, eyes a little glassy, and Yunho was sure the man got fever.

 

“Who’s in charge there?” Minwoo asked, opened the file.

 

“Lee Donghae, Sir.” Yunho answered.

 

Minwoo hummed and checked the file. “Did you see Mr Kang from Sales there?”

 

“I didn’t, Sir.”

 

“That old lazy ass… I already told him to meet you in the factory for the sales report…” Mr Lee mumbled.

 

“Maybe I left too early-“

 

“Then why is he not giving it to me, huh?” Mr Lee threw the file to the table. “Can’t he get his job done?”

 

Yunho remained in his polite pose, standing rigidly in front of the table as Mr Lee called Yuri, telling her to contact Mr Kang and told him to do his work properly. He slammed down the phone and massaged his temple, closing his eyes.

 

“Are you okay, Sir?” Yunho asked.

 

Mr Lee didn’t answer, and Yunho was at loss at what to do.

 

“Do you… need anything, Sir?” Yunho asked again.

 

Mr Lee sighed. “Tell Ms Yuri to give you the sales report as soon as it arrived. I’ve told you the procedures, right? And also do the comparison from the last month report.” He said, cleared his sore throat.

 

“Yes, Sir.”

 

“I’ll see the factory report now. I’ll call you when I’m done.” Mr Lee added.

 

Usually Yunho would wait in the room as Mr Lee checked the report, he’d pinpoint the mistakes or unusual thing in there that could be Yunho’s fault or the factory’s error. They would redo the report, or even went back to the factory together. That was why Yunho knew Mr Lee was feeling extremely unwell.

 

“Sure. Anything else, Sir?”

 

“That’s all.”

 

Yunho bowed and when he closed the door, Yuri was on the phone, talking to Minwoo.

 

“Yes, Sir, you’re welcome.” Yuri said before putting down the phone.

 

“What is it?” Yunho asked without a voice.

 

“He’s not receiving any guest today.” Yuri replied, busily typing on the keyboard. “He’s really sick. Why doesn’t he go home?” she looked at Yunho, whispering quietly.

 

Yunho chuckled. “Just accept your fate.”

 

“Accept yours too!” Yuri replied.

 

Mr Lee’s loud cough startled them both and Yunho hurriedly went to his room to hide.

 

 

*

 

 

“Here you go, the change is 50 won, see you again!” Changmin gave the money to the boy as he smiled. When there was no customer, Changmin left the counter and wiped the table.

 

“You work so diligently…” Mrs Kim said.

 

“I’m just doing my job, Mrs Kim,” Changmin said. He had been working in Mrs Kim’s ice cream stall since the beginning of the week.

 

“Ah… if only my daughter hasn’t married yet, I’ll introduce you two…”

 

Changmin chuckled.

 

“But I think I’d introduce her to Yunho first, though,” Mrs Kim laughed. “Because I know him first…”

 

“It’s okay, Mrs Kim. I know Yunho is better than me.” Changmin said, playfully pouted and folded the cloth.

 

“Eii, why are you being like this?” Mrs Kim patted Changmin’s back.

 

“Talking about Yunho, Mrs Kim… please don’t tell him I’m working here.” Changmin said, took a seat beside her.

 

“Don’t worry about that. You’ve told me to keep this secret, right?” Mrs Kim winked. “But why do you keeping this from him? It’s not a bad thing…”

 

“I just don’t want him to worry…” Changmin said. “And I want to buy him a little present from my own money.”

 

Mrs Kim smiled to him and sighed deeply. “How sweet it is to be young and in love…”

 

Changmin could only reply her smile. And it faded slowly as he thought if Yunho was still in love with him.

 

 

*

 

 

“Yunho-sshi, have you finished?” Yuri came to Yunho’s office.

 

“I’m almost done rechecking it now…” Yunho said, still looking at the document.

 

“Mr Lee asked for you.” Yuri said again. “You better go to his room now.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Yunho collected the file and looked at Yuri, already wore her blazer and brought her bag. “Are you going home?”

 

“Yeah, he told me not to wait.” Yuri said as they walked outside the room together.

 

“Oh? Why is he treating you differently?” Yunho teased her.

 

“It’s because he want to spend more time alone with you,” Yuri grinned. “See you!”

 

Yunho could only hiss before knocking on Mr Lee’s room.

 

“Come in,” Mr Lee’s rough voice could be heard, and Yunho entered the room. “Sit. How’s the report?”

 

Yunho took a seat on the couch, in front of his boss. “I’ve done the comparison with the last month’s sales report, Sir,” he handed Minwoo the documents. “It’s decreasing by 2.7%, is it significant enough?”

 

“Let me see…”

 

Now that Minwoo had taken off his mask, Yunho could see his totally red nose, and feverish face. His eyes were a bit swollen too. The boss seemed to be out of focus some times, asking Yunho to repeat his words as he massaged his temple. “I think you’re sick, Sir.” He finally said. “You should take some rest, Sir.”

 

“I think so too. But I don’t need your opinion on that.” Mr Lee said, eyes still on the document.

 

Yunho pursed his lips.

 

“The last year- no, I mean the last month… wait. What was I talking about...” Minwoo tsked. “The comparison we did for the last month… I think I have it in my computer…” he headed to his desk, and when he was about to take a seat, he fell to the floor.

 

“Sir!” Yunho quickly walked towards him. “Are you alright?”

 

And Minwoo had no energy to even pull himself up, he just sprawled there on the floor.

 

“Sir?” Yunho held Minwoo’s hand, and pulled him up. “Are you okay?”

 

“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath as Yunho put his arm around his hips, held him up.

 

“Sir, you have a very high fever,” Yunho said as he touched Minwoo’s hot skin. “I will take you home now.”

 

Minwoo had no time to protest. He just waited as Yunho went back to his room to take his things and calling a taxi, before came back and took Minwoo’s bag.

 

“I really hate this,” Minwoo muttered as Yunho put his boss’s arms around his shoulder to hold Minwoo up.

 

There was no other staff left in the office, and when they went down the elevator, Minwoo almost fell from his hold. He was quite heavy.

 

The taxi was waiting already, and he set Minwoo to sit down first. Yunho wondered if the man could go home by himself, but he was already unconscious as he was in the taxi. Yunho sighed and decided to get in too.

 

“Sir?” Yunho gently nudged Minwoo. “I need your address.”

 

Minwoo told him the address before closing his eyes again. As the ride went by, Minwoo head fell to Yunho shoulder, and the younger couldn’t move. Yunho quietly glanced at the man’s face.

 

Actually, when he wasn’t giving instructions or in a tight expression, Minwoo was quite on the cute side. With his small eyes and little chubby cheeks, he was-

 

“We’re here, Sir,” the taxi driver said.

 

Yunho startled, and Minwoo head fell to Yunho’s thighs.

 

“Uh, Sir?” Yunho patted Minwoo’s arm, wondering if he had to piggyback this man home. But fortunately the little sleep on the road gave Minwoo a bit energy to sit up straight and walked to his apartment building, though he still needed some support from Yunho.  He was still conscious when he putting in his code, but almost fell again when the door opened.

 

Yunho still had his arm around his boss’s hips, kicking the door closed, and helping him to his bedroom, before laying the man on the bed.

 

He sweated a lot and he took off his jacket suit and loosened his tie before letting out a deep sigh. He took off Mr Lee’s shoes and coat, untying his tie and opened some buttons.

 

“Sir, have you eaten something?” Yunho asked carefully.

 

Minwoo didn’t answer, seemed to be sleeping.

 

“Sir?” Yunho called again.

 

But Minwoo turned around, hugging his pillow to the side, his back facing Yunho.

 

Yunho gave up and went to the kitchen. Minwoo sure was a more organized man than him, but still not as neat as Changmin. And he seemed didn’t have enough time for his meals. There were bottles of energy drink and chinese medicine drink, Yunho didn’t know the name but his mother drank that sometimes. There were some apples and pear, but he doubt Minwoo had enough energy to munch the fruit. He needed to eat something before having the medicine.

 

Ramen was definitely not the right food for the sick, but well, Yunho couldn’t find any. Did Mr Lee Minwoo even not eating ramen? Was he even human? Well, Yunho found two packages of instant vegetable cream soup. He wasn’t confident in cooking, but it seemed easier than ramen, so he’d challenge himself. Hoping Mr Lee wouldn’t fire him if the taste wasn’t right.

 

He was looking for the pot everywhere to find it in the dishwasher. He measured the water extra carefully, read the instructions over and over to avoid any mistakes. Five minutes passed, and Yunho prayed to God that he made it right. He carefully tasted it, and it was fantastic. Not the taste, but it was great how he didn’t mess up.

 

He brought the soup and water to Minwoo’s bedroom, put the food on the bedside table and woke the man up.

 

Minwoo glared at him, but Yunho tried not to flinch.

 

“Sir, you have to eat first.”

 

He said nothing, but sat on the bed, and Yunho put the pillow on his back to make him more comfortable.

 

“Have you checked the expiration date?” Minwoo asked as he eyed the bowl Yunho giving to him.

 

Yunho didn’t.

 

“Are you trying to kill me?” Minwoo shot Yunho a look.

 

“I’ve tried it.” Yunho said. And to prove it, he took a spoonful of the soup again.

 

“Now you’re sharing the spoon with me?” Minwoo asked again.

 

Yunho opened his mouth to ask if Minwoo wanted another spoon, but the older finally ate the soup without protesting. When the bowl almost empty, Yunho asked where did Minwoo put his meds.

 

“Are you not going home?” Minwoo asked.

 

“Will you be okay, Sir?” Yunho asked back.

 

“You’re unbelievable…” Minwoo muttered.

 

When Yunho took the empty bowl to the kitchen, he took the medicine box in the drawer under the TV and went back to Minwoo’s bedroom. He gave the medicine to his boss and went back to the kitchen to refill his water. He felt a bit relieved to find Minwoo was sleeping already.

 

 

*

 

 

It was the last day of the mid test, so Changmin had time to visit Yunho. His mother brought some squid and anchovies, and with his improving cooking skill, Changmin could make tangsuyuk and rice balls out of those ingredients. Kyuhyun said the food was delicious, and he gained more confidence.

 

He waited in front of Yunho’s office building, but the man wasn’t coming out. Changmin thought of texting the man, but it wasn’t any use. Yunho rarely reply his chat. He usually busy, or Changmin wondered if Yunho even wanted to reply it anyway.

 

When it was almost 7, Changmin could see Yunho was coming out from the building. When he was about to call him, he realized Yunho wasn’t alone. He was with someone… a man.

 

Changmin’s heart fell as he eyed Yunho holding the man before they both got in the taxi. It seemed like the man was… drunk or something? He didn’t know.

 

He knew Yunho wouldn’t betray him, but… didn’t Yunho think Changmin wouldn’t betray him either?

 

 Changmin shook his head to clear his mind, and decided to walk away as he listed the possibilities that could fill in that situation. Yunho probably just helping his drunk friend. But… drunk at 7pm? Well… maybe he was sick… beside, there wasn’t any inappropriate touching between them.

 

Changmin decided to wait in Yunho’s apartment lobby. He’d back soon, he knew it. Yunho would just accompany his friend home and came back soon.

 

But minutes turned to hours and Changmin’s stomach growled and he was frustrated. It had been so long and he wasn’t feeling hungry anymore. It was a little after 11, but Yunho hadn’t arrived. Changmin just hugged the bag on his lap, wondering what Yunho did there that made him this late.

 

Changmin thought that it was impossible for him to sleep out, but the time already passed midnight. Would Yunho come back? What was he doing out there? Who was that man?

 

Changmin looked at his phone, there was a missed call and a chat from Kyuhyun, asking where he was. But in the other hand, Yunho hadn’t even read his chat.

 

Changmin:

_Yunho, where r u?_

_I bring very very very delicious dinner :DD_

He sighed. Maybe Yunho wouldn’t come back tonight. But still, he couldn’t bring himself to get up and went to his own place, because he thought there was his home. Yunho was his home.

 

But who knew if Yunho had found another home?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am totally starting to miss yunho bit by bit :"(


	8. Chapter 8

 

“Mr Jung.”

 

Yunho opened his eyes. Was he having a nightmare? No. He had woken up, why would he have a nightmare?

 

Because Lee Minwoo was his nightmare.

 

Yunho quickly sat straight on the couch, Mr Lee was standing in front of him, arms folded as he stared at him.

 

“Do you not aware I have my own car?” he asked.

 

“I-“

 

“And what is this?” Minwoo pointed at the blue strip on his forehead.

 

“But Sir, isn’t that for fever-“

 

“It’s for kids.”

 

“But you have it in your first aid kit.”

 

Mr Lee’s small eyes became sharper and Yunho unconsciously gripped the couch.

 

“Are you not going to work today?” Minwoo asked as he turned around, heading to the kitchen.

 

Yunho looked at the clock. It was 9.30 already. He was so dead.

 

“I am so sorry, Sir!” Yunho said, quickly stood up and followed Minwoo.

 

“Just take a break for today,” Minwoo said.

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say.

 

“I mean it.”

 

“Th- thank you, Sir.” Yunho bowed.

 

Minwoo sighed as he poured a cup of coffee for Yunho, making the younger thanking him again. “Wash up before you go out. People will think you got mugged.”

 

But when Yunho seeing his reflection on the mirror, he looked worse than got mugged. His stubble shadowed his face, and his eyebags were so visible, made him look 20 years older. His shirt crumpled and tie dangled. His appearance was never that improper before.

 

Before Yunho went out, Minwoo gave him vitamins and the chinese herbal drink. “I don’t want you to get sick.” He said. “See you tomorrow at the office, Mr Jung.”

 

“Of course. Thank you, Sir,” Yunho wanted nothing but went away from Mr Lee’s territory. The man wasn’t evil or terrible or something bad, but being with him made Yunho uncomfortable. The older staring would make him think that he did something wrong.

 

Yunho drank the herbal drink in the taxi, it tasted better than he remembered. He tsked when he remembered that his boss didn’t even say a simple thank you. But then he was holding the drink, and realized maybe that was how Mr Lee thanking him. And the vitamin too. And the break for today.

 

Well. The man wasn’t so bad at all.

 

 

*

 

 

“What is it? What happened? Where were you last night?”

 

Changmin just arrived at the dorm when Kyuhyun was about to go to the university.

 

“Oh, Min… what’s wrong?” Kyuhyun knew something bad happened seeing Changmin’s red nose and glassy eyes, there were tracks of tears on the taller’s cheeks.

 

“I’m just so tired…” Changmin said, put the paper bag on the table and went to the bed, hugging the pillow and hid his face.

 

Kyuhyun peeked inside the bag, the food was uneaten. He sighed and patted Changmin. “Get some rest. I have a test this morning. I’ll see you later, okay?”

 

Changmin just nodded. He heard Kyuhyun’s steps and the door being closed. He checked his phone, but there were still no words from Yunho.

 

 

*

 

 

“You will break the table if you keep doing that.”

 

Changmin startled and when he turned around, crashed against two chairs and made them fell over. He was cleaning the table when the shop owner surprised him. “I’m sorry, Mrs Kim.”

 

“What is troubling you, little man?” Mrs Kim asked as she helped Changmin rearranged the chair.

 

Changmin just sighed and took the cloth from the floor. “I’m okay…”

 

Mrs Kim chuckled. “Why are you lying to this old woman, huh?”

 

Changmin just gave her a small smile. “I made a terrible mistake and I think I’m being punished right now…”

 

“Maybe you don’t deserve it that bad.” Mrs Kim looked at him sympathetically.

 

“I probably deserve worse.” Changmin muttered. “Do you ever love someone and wonder if he loves you too, even after all the mistakes you’ve done?”

 

Mrs Kim gave him a soft smile. “If he belongs to you, he will love you still, no matter what.” She said. “But if he doesn’t belong to you, you won’t be together.”

 

Changmin bit his lip. “But- you can try, right? After all the effort of keeping him with you… he will stay, right?”

 

Mrs Kim’s smile was full of understanding but it didn’t comfort Changmin’s uneasy heart. “When you get older, you will understand, young man.”

 

Changmin said nothing else until closing time, beside saying thank you and goodbye to Mrs Kim. He checked his phone, and Kyuhyun texted him, asked if he wanted to eat outside for dinner. There was also unread chat. From Yunho.

 

_Yunho:_

_Sorry, I was so busy yesterday. Did u come to my place?_

 

A part of him wanted to punch Yunho, and the other wanted to cry because- really? Changmin waited for almost 24 and that was the reply he got?

 

But he found himself typed back.

 

_Changmin:_

_It’s fine. Have u eat dinner?_

_Yunho:_

_Not yet. Very hungry now._

And they set a dinner date in the restaurant they used to visit together. It was located between Yunho’s office and Changmin’s university, so it was convenient for both of them.

 

Changmin quickly went to the restaurant, texted Kyuhyun to have dinner without him as he ran chasing the next bus.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho was waiting in the restaurant. It was a bit full, everyone just got off from work and finished their classes. He took an empty table for two beside a woman, seemed like she was waiting for her date.

 

“I’m sorry,” she called Yunho. “I need to go to the bathroom badly. Can you keep an eye for my table?”

 

“Alright.” Yunho nooded.

 

“Thanks,” she left to the toilet.

 

Yunho wondered if she actually reapplied her makeup for her boyfriend. He looked around and the waiter came, asked if he wanted to order now. Yunho shook his head. His eyes trailed to the door. Changmin should come soon.

 

But instead, there was another familiar figure coming in, unbuttoned his suit jacket as he walked further in.

 

Yunho looked away. Why… why did he always have to meet him in all circumstances?

 

Lee Minwoo’s small eyes explored the room, swept all corners, until finally landed on… Yunho, who quickly stood up and gave him a bow.

 

“Fancy seeing you here, Mr Jung.” Minwoo said.

 

  
“Nice to see you too, Sir,” Yunho replied.

 

“You’re here for a date?” Minwoo asked.

 

“No,” Yunho automatically answered.

 

Minwoo raised his eyebrows, and almost at the same time, Changmin appeared behind him.

 

“Oh, Min, you’re here…” Yunho darted his eyes to Changmin, who was eyeing Minwoo from head to toe. “Take a seat.”

 

“Have you ordered the food?” Changmin asked, tried to ignore Minwoo’s existence.

 

“Oppa! What takes you so long?” the woman came back from the bathroom, slapped Minwoo’s arm. “Oh, thank you,” she said to Yunho, and she looked at Changmin, who sat in front of him.

 

Changmin froze.

 

“I’m not late! You’re too early. And where have you been anyway?”

 

The woman didn’t hear Minwoo’s reply as her gaze fixed on Changmin.

 

“You know each other?” Minwoo asked.

 

Changmin looked away and Lee Rak took a seat beside him.

 

“Changmin?” Yunho asked, curious too.

 

Changmin was ready to say no, but Lee Rak answered first. “He was one of my painting student.”

 

“Oh?” Minwoo took a look at Changmin, and they younger felt hot.

 

“Ah, Changmin, this is my Department Head, Lee Minwoo.” Yunho took the initiation to introduce them.

 

Changmin remembered that name. Yunho mentioned it quite a lot. And wasn’t he the one he saw with Yunho last night?

 

They bowed to each other.

 

Lee Rak just watched the men, her eyes met Yunho’s coincidentally. “I’m Lee Rak. Minwoo’s younger sister. And Changmin’s painting teacher.”

 

“I’m Jung Yunho. Nice to meet you,” Yunho smiled to her.

 

“I know we don’t look alike,” Minwoo said as he called the waiter. “She got lots of plastic surgery.”

 

“It’s easier for him to say I’m a plastic than I’m his stepsister,” Lee Rak said to Yunho.

 

Minwoo hit her with the menu, and told her to order the food. Yunho and Changmin followed after.

 

“I called you in the office this morning and your secretary said you’re sick,” Lee Rak said, drank a big gulp of beer. “So what are you doing in the office?”

 

Yunho turned his head to them. So Minwoo was from the office, he wasn’t going everywhere in suit as Yunho thought before.

 

“Working, of course.” Minwoo said lightly.

 

“But Sir, I don’t think you’re healthy enough-“ Yunho’s words cut by Minwoo’s glare.

 

Minwoo’s glare cut by his sister throwing peanuts at him. “He’s right. You’re such a workaholic.”

 

“I am fine!” Minwoo threw back some peanuts, but gave Yunho a softer look.

 

Changmin just sat back watched everything like a reality drama. It was quite interesting, unless he should be talking with Yunho. Just both of them. Yunho’s attention should be only for him. They should be eating in peace, without Yunho’s favorite boss or the woman Changmin cheated on Yunho with.

 

“Who ordered samgyetang?” Minwoo asked as the waiter put the food on their table.

 

“Me. It’s good for your sick body.” She said. “Shut up and eat your food.”

 

Minwoo couldn’t protest as she put the chicken flesh to his bowl.

 

Changmin couldn’t help but notice too, because Yunho’s eyes were on them. Why were his eyes on them? His eyes supposed to be on me!

 

“Yunho, here, eat some,” Changmin said as he put a slice of pajeon to Yunho’s plate.

 

“But isn’t it your favorite one?” Yunho asked with a smirk. “You ordered that.”

 

“Why can’t I share it with you?” Changmin asked back. “You’re paying anyway.” He mumbled. “Because you ditched me last night.”

 

“I’m sorry about that.” Yunho said in a low voice.

 

Changmin gave Yunho a smile. “It’s fine.”

 

“So, Yunho-sshi,” Lee Rak called. “You’re my Oppa’s subordinate? Tell me, how is he at work?”

 

Minwoo pretended like he didn’t care, sneakily stole his sister’s beer, but she caught her. “You’re not drinking alcohol until you’re perfectly healthy.” She ignored him saying ‘I’m fine!’, eyes went back to Yunho. “How is he?”

 

“You should ask him when I’m not here.” Minwoo said, saved Yunho somehow.

 

Yunho just gave her an awkward laugh. “So how’s Changmin doing at painting, then?”

 

“He’s quitted some time ago.” Lee Rak said. “He did pretty well, though. It’s a pity to waste that talent just because a small silly matter.” She glanced to Changmin.

 

Yunho looked at them confusedly.

 

“I’m busy with my paper. It’s going nowhere.” Changmin said, tried to stay calm.

 

When Yunho and Minwoo was out for a cigarette, Lee Rak asked Changmin straightforwardly, “Is he your boyfriend?”

 

“Yeah,” Changmin dared to answer so, because they weren’t broke up. The words weren’t said between them.

 

She blinked. “Were you already together when we had sex?”

 

“…yeah.” Changmin couldn’t lie.

 

Lee Rak’s jaw dropped. “Did he break up with you?”

 

“No,” Changmin replied.

 

“Did he hit you?” Lee Rak asked again.

 

“Gosh, no!” Changmin quickly replied. Yunho would never ever hurt a single living thing.

 

Lee Rak slapped Changmin, hard. The restaurant was quite crowded so people didn’t notice, but the girls one table away from them turned their heads to see.

 

Changmin’s head spin for a second right then, his right cheek felt hot and stinging.

 

“You fucking deserve that!” Lee Rak said, finger pointed to Changmin. “You said you weren’t dating anyone!”

 

“Actually, you asked if I had a girlfriend, which I didn’t, he’s my boyfr-“

 

“Don’t you try to reason with me!” Lee Rak hissed. “Fuck… what does that make me?” she covered her face with her palm.

 

Changmin sighed slowly. “I’m sorry… if that’s making you any better.”

 

“No, it isn’t.” Lee Rak glared.

 

When Yunho and Minwoo came back, she couldn’t lift her head and look at Yunho in the eye.

 

“Let’s leave now,” she said to Minwoo.

 

They paid for their bill, and left earlier. Yunho noticed the guilty look in her eyes when they were saying goodbye, and that was why he asked Changmin.

 

“Did something happen when I was outside?” he asked.

 

“Not really,” Changmin said, felt a bit uncomfortable as well.

 

“Then why she hit you?” Yunho asked. “Or did I see wrong?”

 

Changmin gulped. He didn’t expect Yunho saw that.

 

“Hm?” Yunho demanded an answer.

 

Changmin bit his lip.

 

Yunho waited.

 

Changmin looked at Yunho nervously. “I told her that… cheated on you with her.”

 

Yunho stilled. “So it’s her?”

 

Changmin slowly nodded.

 

Yunho took a deep breath and clenched his fist tight, looking around as if nothing happened, but there was a storm in his heart. He threw the money on the table, stood up and left.

 

“Yunho, wait…” Changmin quickly trailed after the older.

 

Yunho didn’t want to hear, he kept walking, ignoring Changmin behind him.

 

“Yunho, please… please don’t be mad again… we’ve through this.” Changmin pleaded.

 

“What do you mean we’ve through this?” Yunho didn’t turn to look at him, kept walking with stony expression.

 

“We’ve talked about this. And… lately, we- we are better than before. Please, I don’t want to ruin it again, Yunho…” Changmin reached for Yunho’s arm.

 

But Yunho shook off Changmin’s hold, giving a pang of hurt to the younger.

 

“Yun…” Changmin was begging.

 

“Why, Min?” Yunho finally stopped. His eyes pierced through the younger’s, chest heaving in heavy breaths. “Why? Is she better than me?... wait, don’t answer that. I know she’s better. Well… that must be why, right?”

 

Changmin closed his eyes, willed down the tears.

 

“Right?” Yunho asked again. “Is she better than me?”

 

“She… she can lead me. Unlike you. It’s something new for me…”

 

Yunho knew Changmin was right. Instead of being older, Yunho didn’t play the leader role in their relationship. The younger was more firm and sharp in making decisions, and Yunho would happily agree to everything Changmin chose for them. And seeing Lee Rak just now, knowing how she could control tough guy Lee Minwoo, Yunho knew she was totally different with him.

 

“Maybe she’s better. But I realized in a relationship, it’s not about finding a better partner. It’s about finding someone who’s your match, someone who belongs to you. Your soulmate. And for me, it is you, not her.”

 

“How do you know it is me?” Yunho replied with sad eyes. “How do you know you’re my soulmate?”

 

Changmin already opened his mouth to answer, that _he knows,_ because it’s Yunho.

 

“Because I don’t even sure if I belong with you. Or you belong with me.” Yunho added, crushed Changmin’s heart again, to pieces.

 

“Why are you being like this..?” Changmin whispered. “You’re not like the Yunho I know.”

 

“Same goes to me.” Yunho took a step away.

 

“Then I will remind you.” Changmin walked closer. “I’ve told you that, Yunho.” He said. “I’m not stopping now.”

 

 

*

 

 

The next morning, Taeyeon didn’t give him a paper bag like usual, but a box instead.

 

“Is today your birthday, Yunho-sshi?” Taeyeon asked.

 

“No,” Yunho was confused as well, inspecting the ordinary brown box. It wasn’t that small, not that big either. The height almost reached Yunho’s knee.

 

“It’s not be a bomb, is it?” Taeyeon asked quietly.

 

Yunho shushed her. “Who send this?”

 

“That usual guy.”

 

Changmin?

 

“Oh,” Yunho took the box. “It’s safe, then.” He quickly left before Taeyeon asked more question. He went to his room, and impatiently opened the box.

 

It was the little robot Yunho used to have to deliver food to Changmin. The robot was holding a bottle of strawberry juice, and in the other hand, a tuna sandwich. He read the message lay on top of the robot’s square head.

 

_u’re right, it’s broken. i don’t know how to fix it._

_i’m sorry._

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

“Is he your friend?” Minwoo asked, they were preparing the material for the presentation after lunch.

 

“Yes?” Yunho looked at his boss.

 

“Some days ago. When we had dinner.” Minwoo replied. “Shim Changmin-sshi.”

 

“Oh,” Yunho cleared his throat. “He was… a hoobae in university.”

 

Minwoo raised his eyebrows. “He didn’t call you Hyung?”

 

Maybe it because they are lovers, Yunho thought. “…yeah. We’re pretty close.”

 

“Really...” Minwoo said slowly.

 

Yunho didn’t think Minwoo interested in his private live, and even now, the older just asked casually as he arranged the documents.

 

“You two look somewhat awkward to me that night. Like forced or something.”

 

“Heh.”

 

Minwoo shot Yunho a look.

 

“Uh…” Yunho couldn’t help his sarcastic exclamation. “Um… we know each other for quite a long time.”

 

Minwoo smirked.

 

Rather than his scoldings and demands, Minwoo looked scariest the most when he smirk. “Your sister is beautiful, Sir,” he tried to divert the conversation.

 

“You want her phone number?”

 

“No, no,” Yunho quickly replied. He didn’t want to think of being Lee Minwoo’s brother in law.

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho thought he had too much to drink.

 

His head was spinning. He wasn’t that good at drinking, but didn’t want to be impolite with his seniors.

 

They went to a bar to celebrate a new contract with a big company, that was thanks to Mr Lee Minwoo’s hardwork, and Yunho of course. That was the first time after a long long time, he thought that his existence matters. That he could do a proper job. That his dedication to the company paid off.

 

“I’ll make sure you get a promotion after this, Jung,” Minwoo said, gave Yunho another bottle of beer.

 

“You don’t have to do that, Sir,” Yunho said, didn’t know what to do with the beer, since he just finished his fifth. He afraid he’d get drunk.

 

“Seriously, Yunho. You do better job than half of the employee in our company.” Minwoo said.

 

Yunho thought that Minwoo was already drunk. He just laughed awkwardly, looking around, hoped nobody heard that one.

 

 

*

 

 

“Your cooking really gets better and better,” Kyuhyun commented as he tried Changmin’s genjang jjigae. He was in the dormitory’s kitchen, accompanying Changmin cooked.

 

“Right?” Changmin smirked confidently, he was busy with his other dish, stir fried octopus.

 

“This is the positive side of you cheating on him.”

 

Changmin hit Kyuhyun’s head hard with the wooden spatula.

 

“OUCH!” Kyuhyun rubbed his head, glared to Changmin, but sneakily stole another piece of octopus from the pan.

 

“Yah!” Changmin slapped Kyuhyun’s hand.

 

“Can’t you just give me some? Where’s your gratitude to my moral support?!”

 

“I planned to give some for you. But I think you already eat all of your share.”

 

“Aigoo…” Kyuhyun just sighed.

 

Changmin turned off the pan and put the octopus to the lunch box. He didn’t wash the pan, but put in the chopped vegetables.

 

“How many dish are you cooking?” Kyuhyun was impressed. “Ya, is this Chuseok?”

 

“He told me he succeeded in giving a presentation today. The company got a new partner, or so I thought.” Changmin said, seasoning the vegetables.

 

“You’re like a mom and Yunho Hyung is your son, winning a soccer competition. And instead of buying him new soccer shoes, you just cook food he eats everyday. Nothing special.” Kyuhyun said as watching Changmin busy hands.

 

“It is special. You just asked if I cooked for Chuseok.” Changmin retorted.

 

Kyuhyun scoffed.

 

“And I already am planning on buying him something special!” Changmin added. “Just another week of my part time job at Mrs Kim, I can give him the present…” he smiled.

 

Kyuhyun hummed. “It really has so many positive things, you cheating on him…”

 

Changmin looked at Kyuhyun threateningly.

 

“No, really. It’s a good thing you appreciate Yunho Hyung more now.” Kyuhyun said. “But does he realize it?”

 

Changmin didn’t know. But he hoped Yunho did realize.

 

 

*

 

 

Mr Lee Minwoo wasn’t that much of a good drinker either. He started to cuss and cursing at people, either it was his senior or subordinate. He pointed at people and scolded them.

 

“Yah, Jung, told that wrinkle face Kang Hyojae to do his fucking job well! That old pervert has to stop thinking his old age means more authority!” Yunho had to apologize to Mr  Kang, bowing over and over to the Head of Sales.

 

Yunho tried his hardest to pull Mr Lee away from the crowd. It was tiring, since the man was strong and couldn’t stay still.

 

“My head really fucking hurts…” Minwoo mumbled.

 

Yunho took Minwoo out of the bar. The air felt so refreshing to Yunho. He took a deep breath, and as soon as he let go of Minwoo, the older almost fell. “Sir, are you okay?”

 

Minwoo waved his hand, gesturing that he was okay. But he hunched down. And vomited.

 

Yunho stepped away just at the right moment. Slowly massaging Minwoo’s neck so the boss could let it all out. And he did let everything out.

 

Minwoo stood up straight and Yunho could see his vomit stained on his white shirt, from neck to stomach. “I don’t feel well.”

 

Yunho breathed out slowly. Well, at least Minwoo seemed to be more conscious now. “Do you want to vomit some more?”

 

“I think we should go.”

 

Yunho gladly agree with that idea, unless… wait. Why _we_?

 

“Let’s go.” Minwoo said, but when he started to walk, he accidentally stepped on his vomit and almost fell again.

 

“Careful, Sir,” Yunho held Minwoo’s elbow.

 

There was a taxi not far from there. He could put Minwoo in and sent him away. But the driver refused, seeing Minwoo’s dirty clothes, didn’t want his car to smell. Yunho didn’t have time to argue, because right then, two of the employee came out from the bar, greeting Minwoo and Yunho hastily, before getting in the taxi and left.

 

Yunho huffed and looked around. It actually not far from his apartment. They could walk a bit to his place. Sober Minwoo up a bit and Yunho could lend him clean clothes. “Come on, Sir,”

 

Minwoo didn’t say anything as Yunho led him the way. When they entered the apartment building, he asked, “Is this your place?”

 

Yunho nodded as they entered the elevator.

 

Minwoo said nothing else until they reached Yunho’s floor, and entered his apartment. “You live here alone?” he asked, looking at the inside.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Neater than I expected.” Minwoo mumbled. “You’re not really an organized person, seeing your working table and the way you arrange the file…”

 

Yunho thought Mr Lee was totally sober because he started to critique people logically. “Bathroom this way, Sir,”

 

Minwoo entered the bathroom, and finally Yunho had sometime alone without his boss that day. Yes, his apartment was neater than before. Lately, when Changmin visited, the younger would wipe his table, folded his blanket and even vacuumed the room one time. Although he used to do this in the old time, still, he felt bad to for making Changmin doing all the chores in his home, so Yunho started to clean up the mess himself.

 

He realized the door wasn’t closed properly, and when he was going to shut it, Minwoo came out from the bathroom without his suit jacket and shirt. Yunho felt relieved because the boss wore an undershirt. Because… well… it wasn’t because he was a bad sight. It was the other way around. The man seemed to take care of his body well. His muscles weren’t big, but so defined. Yunho admired how Minwoo not only doing well in the office, but able to manage his life well too. Yunho had given up on working out since he started working in the office.

 

“Can I borrow your charger? My phone battery is running low.” Minwoo said.

 

Yunho really hoped he didn’t stare. He got up and went to his bedroom, took his charger and connect the charger to the socket in the livingroom. “Here, Sir,”

 

“Thanks,” Minwoo said, sat on the couch.

 

“Do you want to drink something, Sir?” Yunho went to the kitchen.

 

Minwoo didn’t reply, he was calling someone. “Hello? Yes, Sir, I’m sorry I couldn’t answer your call earlier…”

 

Yunho listened.

 

“Yes, it’s true. We showed him the presentation today and we got the contract… what? I’m sorry- are you sure, Sir?”

 

Minwoo’s expression was unhappy and Yunho wondered why.

 

“Then what, do we have to give another presentation to Mr Mun Junghyuk?” Minwoo asked. His voice was calm but Yunho could see his tight fist and the clenched on his temple. “Just give me time to meet Mr Mun, I will make sure he’s going to sign the contract anyway- yes, Sir, of course… yes, Sir, I’ll tell you as soon as-“ Minwoo looked at his phone. The call was disconnected.

 

“What happened, Sir?” Yunho asked carefully.

 

“It was Mr Jang… he told me the contract we got is invalid.” Minwoo said hands tapping on his thigh as if it would throw something anytime soon. “Because we show the presentation to Mr Mun Junghyuk’s son, not the man himself.”

 

Yunho was in shock. “But… isn’t it the same thing?”

 

“It isn’t. Because the son didn’t have any right in the Shintech Company ownership.”

 

Yunho could feel Minwoo’s storm of anger.

 

“I kiss the wrong ass. What now…” Minwoo leaned back and sighed.

 

“But Sir, didn’t you say you gonna meet Mr Mun and show him the presentation?” Yunho asked.

 

“Do you think it’d be that easy?”

 

Yunho sighed and took out two glasses and a soju bottle from his fridge. “No Sir, but at least I know you can do it.” He needed some alcohol to calm down Minwoo’s anger. He sat beside Minwoo and put the soju bottle on the table, giving the older one of the glass.

 

Minwoo snorted, but received the glass anyway, drank the clear liquid after Yunho poured for him. “You really the only one I have, Yunho.”

 

Yunho gulped down the soju as well, because… that was the first time Minwoo called his name without any formalities. “You’re praising me too much, Sir.”

 

“I’m not praising you,” Minwoo said, pouring the soju for both Yunho and himself. “I’m just saying you’re the only one I can work with.”

 

“I think it’s a compliment.” Yunho said. “That you think I’m a reliable partner. It’s an honor, Sir.”

 

Minwoo stared at Yunho. “Where’s your hometown?”

 

“Gwangju, Sir.”

 

“Really? Me too.” Minwoo gulped another shot. “But I don’t remember being like you, a naïve village boy.”

 

Yunho didn’t reply, not sure if it was an insult or another compliment.

 

“It’s not a bad thing,” Minwoo added. “It’s just so rare. So interesting, you almost fascinate me.”

 

Yunho just gave him a small smile.

 

Minwoo smiled too.

 

And Yunho thought, that was the first time Minwoo smiled at him. Like, really smiling, not smirking, but a genuine smile, that made his eyes became crescent, the dimple on his cheek showed a bit, and it was something nice to see.

 

Minwoo kissed him.

 

And Yunho realized that a little later, when the older man’s lips already on his neck, hands roaming to Yunho’s trousers.

 

“Sir-“

 

“Are you straight?” Minwoo asked.

 

“No, but-“

 

“Thank goodness.” Minwoo straddled him, kissed his neck, caressing Yunho’s body.

 

The sound of their breaths was loud, but there was something louder, a clicking sound from the door.

 

“Sir!” Yunho held Minwoo’s wrists.

 

Minwoo’s eyes were unfocused, and looked a bit confused.

 

Yunho gulped. “I’m sorry,” he got up slowly, pushing Minwoo gently and went to the door.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin arrived at Yunho’s apartment, and it was later than usual, so he thought Yunho was already home. He went to Yunho’s floor, went to his door, surprised to see it a little opened. Yunho was a clumsy person, but not this bad. Maybe there was a deliveryman?

 

He pushed the door open and stepped in. As soon as he entered, he saw Yunho on the couch, with another man on his lap. A second later, Changmin realized who the guy was; Lee Minwoo.

 

The man was touching Yunho’s body, opening his trousers, and when he heard Yunho gasped, he thought he had seen enough.

 

Changmin stepped back, slowly, didn’t want to make a sound.

 

He didn’t want to cry. He couldn’t cry there.

 

Changmin gathered his strength and started to walk away. His steps went slow before completely stopped in front of the elevator.

 

No. Yunho wouldn’t be cheating on him. Yunho wouldn’t be having sex with his boss. No, Yunho wouldn’t betray him.

 

Changmin should learn from his experience. He had seen Yunho entered a motel with a woman who turned out to be another staff, not more than a friend. He had seen Yunho holding a girl intimately, and she was actually his sister. He needed to learn, he had made a huge mistake just because he thought Yunho cheated on him.

 

Changmin couldn’t misjudge again. There must be something behind that scene… there must be… Yunho couldn’t be just… enjoying himself as his boss seduced him.

 

The bag in his hand fell, he had lost all of his strength as he broke down and cried. Kneeling on the floor and hands covering his face, hiding the tears ran down his face.

 

“Changmin,”

 

That voice stopped Changmin’s sob instantly. There was a warm hand on his shoulder, and without looking, he’d know it was Yunho. He quickly wiped his tears.

 

“What are you doing?” Yunho’s voice was gentle.

 

“The- the food fell…” Changmin quickly took the bag and stood up, turned away his face so Yunho wouldn’t see his glassy eyes and red nose.

 

“Are you coming to visit me?”

 

“Yeah…” Changmin hated his trembling voice. “I forget the code… hehee…” he forced a laugh but it sounded so awkward and pathetic. “So… I- I think I’ll… just come back later…”

 

Yunho didn’t say anything. He remembered that the door wasn’t closed when Changmin came, and he was sure the man saw what happened between him and Minwoo. It wasn’t like he was cheating on Changmin, but Yunho knew he wasn’t innocent either.

 

His head was dizzy and hot, like there was a lightning hit his brain, and the burn spread through his body. His chest hurt, he was nauseous and somehow wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come out.

 

He wondered if that was how Changmin felt when the younger confessed that he cheated on him.

 

“I should go home.” Changmin said, head hung low and voice was thinner than a whisper. He didn’t even look at Yunho and entered the elevator.

 

“I’ll walk you to the bus stop.” Yunho said, getting in also. He saw Changmin’s reflection on the mirror in front of them and hated how he looked. It was worse than when the younger confessed to Yunho. The dried tears messed his flawless face and his eyes were dead.

 

Changmin didn’t say anything as they walked together. When they arrived and waiting for the bus, Changmin handed the paper bag to Yunho. “I almost forgot. I cooked this for you.”

 

“There’s a lot,” Yunho said, took a peek inside. The bag was heavier than usual.

 

“Yeah… because you said your company got a new partner, so I think I’d make something special.” Changmin still didn’t look at Yunho.

 

“Well… the contract was invalid actually.” Yunho said.

 

“I’m sorry about that.”

 

Yunho hummed and the bus arrived not long after.

 

“I’m going now.”

 

“Can you wait for the next bus?” Yunho asked.

 

Changmin’s eyes finally met Yunho’s. “…why,”

 

Because Yunho wanted to be with Changmin some more. Because he wanted to explain, but not sure how to. Because he didn’t want to send the man off like this. “Just stay. Will you?”

 

Changmin didn’t say anything.

 

“Please stay.” Yunho held Changmin’s hand.

 

Changmin looked away, but didn’t board the bus anyway. “What happened back there?” his voice was so quiet it almost impossible to hear.

 

But Yunho could hear his little ant. And he didn’t want Changmin to misunderstand. “He was drunk. And… well, maybe me too.”

 

“…do you like him?”

 

Yunho’s stared at the man beside him.

 

“Lee Minwoo-sshi.” Changmin added, and he looked back.

 

“No.” Yunho answer honestly. “He’s just my boss. I admire him in some ways, but I don’t have any romantic feeling for him.”

 

Changmin finally hold back Yunho’s hand. And when the next bus came, the younger was reluctant to let go. “May I... come… tomorrow?”

 

Yunho smiled. “You may.”

 

And when Yunho came back to his apartment, Minwoo was already gone.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Lee Minwoo was entering his room, and Yunho quickly threw away the empty bottle of juice (it was mango today, from Changmin), pretending to be busy.

 

Minwoo closed the door behind him.

 

Yunho felt fear.

 

Minwoo started, “About last night, Yunho-sshi,”

 

“I promise I won’t tell anybody, Sir,” Yunho answered. It was like an autoreply.

 

Minwoo raised his eyebrows. “I actually want to ask if I said something embarrassing during the party, but apparently I have to apologize too for trying to molest you.”

 

“Ah- um… well, that’s-“ Yunho stuttered. He gulped.

 

Minwoo just smirked. His eyes landed on the paper bag on Yunho’s table, a half eaten cheese croissant, and the little message that read;

 

 _i hope u don’t get a hangover_ ￢_￢

_anyway i’m making dinner tonight, don’t eat out! ^^_

_come home quickly ~_ ♥

 

Yunho quickly covered the message with his hand to hide it from Minwoo’s eyes. He didn’t know if the man had read it or not.

 

“So this is what it is, huh,” Minwoo said, looking at Yunho amusedly.

 

Yunho blinked.

 

“He drops this at the front desk. I see him every morning.” Minwoo said. “I’ve never know if it’s for you.” He looked at the food on the table. “And then I saw him when we had dinner. And last night too. It’s like completing a puzzle, you know?”

 

Yunho didn’t reply.

 

“I must apologize again, then, now that I know about him.” Minwoo added. “He cares about you a lot, Yunho-sshi.”

 

Yunho’s eyes slowly fell to the message again.

 

“I expect you in the meeting room at 3, don’t forget that presentation, Mr Jung,” Minwoo said as he left.

 

 

*

 

 

Even though it was Minwoo’s request, Yunho wasn’t allowed to present during the meeting, because Mr Mun was that much of an important person, and the Director only allowed Minwoo to give the presentation. It let go the burden off Yunho’s shoulder, but he didn’t know whether Mr Mun would sign the contract or not.

 

“Mr Lee told me you shouldn’t wait, Yunho-sshi,” Yuri said. “You can go home.”

 

“Oh,” Yunho gave another glance to the meeting room. “Alright, then. See you tomorrow.”

 

Yunho took a peaceful bus ride home, checked his phone once and twice to see if Minwoo would tell him if he got the contract or not. He thought Minwoo would succeed anyway, there seemed like nothing he couldn’t do.

 

Yunho got off the bus and entered his apartment building, went to his floor, and got in.

 

He saw an extra pair of shoes and-

 

“Oh? Yunho? You’re home?”

 

Yunho looked up and Changmin’s head appeared from behind a wall. “Min?”

 

“Sorry, I let myself in. I cook something…” Changmin disappeared again to the kitchen.

 

“It smells good…” Yunho said as he walked to the kitchen.

 

Changmin was wearing the flowery apron that belonged to Mrs Jung and both of his arms were busy. “I bought octopus at the market. It’s so fresh and the owner told me to just cook it for a while. Can you turn off the stove? Thanks.”

 

Yunho stole a piece of the octopus and Changmin slapped his hand.

 

“Wash your hand first!”

 

“But I already touch the food-“ Yunho’s protest stopped after Changmin fed him.

 

“Go take a shower. It’ll be ready in a while,” Changmin said.

 

And Yunho did, like a good boy he was, anticipating the food. He came back eagerly, and Changmin was arranging the plate.

 

“I got beer too!” Changmin said cheerfully, put some cans on the table.

 

“Beer?” Yunho asked, could only stare at the abundance of food.

 

“I’m not a minor.” Changmin said, sat in front of Yunho. “Oh, and this kimchi my grandma made, you said you like it so much so I put a container in your fridge,” he scooped rice to Yunho’s bowl.

 

The boys stuffed their mouth with food no long after. Yunho lost count of how many times he added rice to his bowl. Changmin wasn’t losing either, didn’t bother to wipe the sweat that starting to form on his temple, his hands were busy filling his mouth.

 

“You know, I got fatter because of you,” Yunho said.

 

Changmin just hummed, munching a piece of fish. “Who cares,”

 

Yunho just smiled watching Changmin’s cheeks almost burst, so chubby like a chipmunk, lips smeared with sauce, but the younger didn’t seem to care. “I almost forget this…”

 

Changmin looked at Yunho, eyebrows raised.

 

“You and your love for food.” Yunho said, slurping the soup. “You love food more than me.”

 

“No. I love you more.” Changmin said plainly. He groaned. “I hate saying that kind of thing, really…” he mumbled.

 

“Yeah. It’s not your thing,” Yunho grinned to his empty plate.

 

Changmin hummed. “It’s yours.”

 

Yunho didn’t answer and Changmin gulped his beer.

 

 

*

 

 

“Can I stay the night?” Changmin asked. They were watching TV, sitting on the couch side by side.

 

“Won’t your parents looking for you?” Yunho asked back.

 

“I’ve told you I’m staying at the dorm.”

 

“Right.”

 

Changmin huffed. Yunho didn’t answer the question. Should he ask again? “Can I-“

 

“Do you-“

 

“You go first.” Changmin said.

 

“No, you go.”

 

Changmin sighed. “Should I go home?”

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say. Was that a tricky question? He looked at Changmin, the younger was already looking at him. “If you want.”

 

Yunho was sitting beside him, and Changmin inched closer, leaned towards the older and close the distance between them, kissing Yunho. He could feel the older froze for a moment, and when he breathed out, Changmin caught his lower lip, sucking it lightly, tasting the bitter beer they had. There was a lingering fishy smell, but he wouldn’t protest, not when he finally got to kiss Yunho again, to feel his moist soft lips against his, to have their breath mingled and tongue tangled.

 

And Changmin couldn’t get any happier when Yunho kissed back, had the taller’s upper lip between his lips. The younger had his arms went around Yunho’s neck, deepened the kiss. Yunho touched Changmin’s chin gently, pulling out slowly.

 

They both almost ran out of breath when they parted.

 

“We haven’t kissed in about a month.” Changmin said, eyes still lingering on Yunho’s red pouty lips.

 

Yunho was kinda lost, but managed to let out a little laugh. “I almost forget-“

 

“Let me remind you again,” Changmin cut, and dived again for the man’s lips.

 

Yunho’s hands went to his neck, and Changmin climbed on top the older, straddling him. They didn’t stop, it was like finding the lost lover. And the past few weeks was the longest week for both of them.

 

Yunho didn’t expect to find Changmin was quite hard. He himself didn’t realize his own erection, until their crotches came in contact. He couldn’t hold his moan and Changmin gasped. “Sorry,”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Changmin said, red lips and so bee stung and Yunho found him really gorgeous.

 

Changmin went down and kissed Yunho’s neck, under his jaw, sucking his adam’s apple and Yunho had a hard time breathing. Changmin’s hands sneaked under Yunho’s tshirt, roaming the warm skin, tracing the smooth back as Yunho kissing his collar bone. The younger was being active, and everytime he moved, his ass rubbed against Yunho’s erection, torturing the older little by little. And it was getting harder for Yunho to hold back his moan.

 

Yunho could hardly move due to the pleasure, Changmin’s fingers found his nipple, his lips went down to his stomach, and when Changmin sat back to pulled down Yunho’s pants, he lost balance on his partner’s lap, ass already on the edge of Yunho’s knees.

 

“Yunho!”

 

Yunho moved fast, he quickly held Changmin’s head, protecting it from the hard floor, as they both fell forward from the couch.

 

Changmin lay on the floor with Yunho on top, the older’s arm pillowing his head. His butt wasn’t hurt either, Yunho’s other hand was under his waist.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Changmin didn’t answer. His mind went blank.

 

Yunho looked at the younger warily. His face was red. “Min?”

 

“I can’t, can I?”

 

Yunho just stared.

 

“I just can’t be that man for you.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I thought I won’t lose you if I give more than him, but I can’t even do this properly…” Changmin looked away.

 

They had making out some times, but hadn’t go all the way. Yunho wondered if that was Changmin’s goal tonight. “Are you trying to seduce me because you saw me with Lee Minwoo the other night?”

 

Changmin didn’t reply, and Yunho took that as a yes.

 

Yunho carefully put down Changmin’s head, pulling back his hand and sat on the floor.

 

“I just wonder if you like him. I know you said you’re not. And I know I should trust you, and I am, Yunho. But how do you know what will happen in the future? What if you can never accept me again, and slowly find more interest in him?”

 

Yunho looked away.

 

“Because that’s how we start, Yunho. It wasn’t love at first sight. But you said you admire me. And you like me. Then you chase me.” Changmin’s voice was full of longing. “And that’s how you start with him too. You said you admire him. And he’s handsome, I can see that. And you don’t even have to chase him, I bet he wants to be with you.”

 

Yunho sighed. He knew Changmin was right. But he just never saw it with Mr Lee. He didn’t know how Changmin could think that way. Maybe his insecurities built that up.

 

“Do you still not believe me?” Yunho asked tiredly. “I’ve told you I have no feelings for him.”

 

Changmin sat up. “It’s not like that-“

 

“What, then?” Yunho cut. “Why are you comparing yourself with him?”

 

“I just-“

 

The bell rang, once, twice, Yunho threw him a glance and got up.

 

“I’m just afraid you’ll choose him because he’s better than me…” Changmin muttered to Yunho’s back. The man didn’t hear that, he was opening the door.

 

“Umma? What happen? You suddenly come late at night…” Yunho said, stepped back to let his parents in.

 

“I was from Jihye’s place, but her friends are coming over so I don’t wanna ruin their night- oh! Changmin is here? Ah… so I see I come ruining your night too?” Mrs Jung smiled widely as she saw Changmin.

 

Changmin just bowed to her, and to Mr Jung who was behind his wife.

 

“Aish, what are you talking about?” Yunho said, closing the door.

 

“Have you two eaten your dinner?” Mrs Jung asked, went to the kitchen.

 

“Yes, Changmin cooked earlier…” Yunho rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you staying the night?”

 

Mr Jung took a look at Changmin. “We’re just saying hi, actually. Ah, yeobo, don’t you think we should be going by now?” he said to his wife.

 

“Let’s talk a bit since we’re here,” Mrs Jung turned on the stove, boiling the water to make some tea.

 

“Just sleep here. It’s too late.” Yunho said.

 

Mrs Jung was placing the cups on the table, four for all of them.

 

“Oh, you don’t have to, Mrs Jung,” Changmin said, put back a cup to the cupboard. “I’m leaving actually.”

 

Yunho’s gaze went to Changmin, but the younger didn’t look back. Changmin already had his bag with him.

 

“Why? We just arrived here.” Mrs Jung said. “Did we interrupt you, dear?”

 

“No! Not at all!” Changmin quickly replied with a smile. “I… I was about to leave earlier. Like Yunho said, it’s getting late. And I’ve to go to the campus in the morning, so…” he glanced at Mr Jung too. “See you in another time, Mrs Jung, Mr Jung,”

 

“Yunho-yah, take him home!” Mrs Jung said to his son.

 

But Changmin refused as Yunho looked at him, the older hadn’t said a word. “It’s fine,” he smiled. “I’ll be going, then. See you.”

 

“See you, Changmin-ah! Take care!” Mrs Jung waved as she saw the man walked to the door.

 

Yunho didn’t say anything as he watched Changmin left without looking back.

 

 

*

 

 

When Mrs Jung went to the bathroom, Yunho was chatting with his father in the balcony.

 

“Son, how would you describe your relationship with Shim Changmin?”

 

Yunho’s heart stopped beating. “I don’t know, Appa.”

 

“I heard what he said to you in the warehouse.” Mr Jung sighed. “When he confessed that he cheated on you.” His eyes went to the night sky.

 

Yunho didn’t reply rightaway. “What do you think I should do, then?”

 

“Do you love him?”

 

Yunho sighed. “I… I don’t know. Even if I love him, I don’t know if it’s enough. And if it really matters anymore.”

 

“That’s the only thing matters.” Mr Jung said. “When he came to our house, your mother said that he never seen you that happy before. And she’s glad too, because she saw how Changmin look at you. How he silently watching over you, taking care of you…”

 

Yunho didn’t know what to say.

 

“That look is still there, Son.” Mr Jung put his hand on Yunho’s shoulder. “But is the love remains too?” he let out a sad smile. “You both had lost your shine. What have you done to each other?”

 

 

*

 

 

Yunho woke up to a delicious smell of kimchi fried rice his mother cooked for breakfast. His stomach was filled and he had his morning coffee, Yunho could say he had a fine morning. It would be a fine one, unless he had a hard time sleeping. It wasn’t the couch he was sleeping on. It wasn’t his father’s soft snore heard from his bedroom. He just kept thinking about someone.

 

And on his way to the office, he bumped into that someone when he just got off from bus.

 

“Min?”

 

The man clutched at the paper bag in his hand. “Hi,”

 

Yunho said nothing, just took a look at the younger from head to toe.

 

“Uh… um, your breakfast, here,” Changmin gave the bag to Yunho. “Oh, and… I was gonna give you this last night, but…” he took a velvet box from his bag. “It’s for you.”

 

“What is it?” Yunho asked as he received the box.

 

“It’s… a gift…” Changmin said slowly as Yunho opened it.

 

It was a watch.

 

“I know it’s not the best one, but… I bought it with my own money. I hope you like it.” Changmin said, as Yunho’s expression was unreadable, he didn’t know if the older liked it or not.

 

“Why? It’s not my birthday.” Yunho asked.

 

Changmin looked down. “I- I know. I just want to give you something. Because… I realized I haven’t given you anything since we dated.”

 

Yunho was still for a moment. And Changmin was a nervous mess, because the man didn’t say anything, and he didn’t know how he felt either because Yunho just stared at the watch.

 

“Why are you doing this?”

 

Changmin lifted his head too see the older man.

 

“Really, Changmin, why are you keep doing this?” Yunho asked again, eyes pierced through the man in front of him. “You… you do those things that I can’t understand… you cook for me, fill my fridge with my favorite kimchi, seduced me with that awkward silly moves… and- and even this!” he showed Changmin the paper bag. “This- this stupid breakfast with stupid message that I keep reading and reading because everything is just so surreal. Every morning! And now. This.” He glared at the innocent watch. “That, and you always so kind… with- with your always smiling face, though I know so well that you just wanna break down or slap me in the face. So why? What is your intension?”

 

“It’s… it’s because you’re my boyfriend,“ that was the only thing Changmin could say.

 

“Really, Changmin?” Yunho looked at him frustatedly. “With your lack of trust in me… do you really think we’re still lovers?”

 

Changmin’s shoulders fell. “Do you not?”

 

Yunho took a deep breath and looked away.

 

“Fine. If you want to break up. It’s stupid of me thinking that we’re still together after what I’ve done, anyway…” Changmin’s voice shook. He gulped and held his tears. “Even though we’re not lovers anymore, I don’t want you to remember me as a cheater. I don’t want to become a painful memory for you. I want to be a beautiful one. Instead of feeling pain everytime you think of me, I want u to remember me and smile.”

 

Changmin looked at Yunho softly. “But if the memory is enough... If you want me to stop now, I will. I don't want to be a burden on your shoulders. I must be so selfish making my way getting you back without thinking of how you actually feel.” He breathed out before looked down to let the tears fell to the ground.

 

He should’ve seen it coming. Changmin should’ve known. Mrs Kim had told him, something that didn’t belong to each other, wouldn’t be together.

 

Maybe they just didn’t meant to be. That would be the end of them. They should stop giving more pain to each other.

 

“That will be the last of me.” Changmin smiled again, one last time. “Goodbye, Yunho.”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

“That will be the last of me.” Changmin said, smiled again.

 

Yunho could see how Changmin forced himself to smile. Trembling lips and glassy eyes, he wondered how much emotion the man trying to hold.

 

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

 

Yunho was nailed to his spot as he saw the man turned around and walked away. Heads down, hands wiping his tears away before finally held up his head again, inhaling a big gulp of air.

 

And then he realized it. Something he should’ve known long time ago.

 

That no, no, he wasn’t going to lose Changmin. No. He wouldn’t let him leave like that. No, Changmin couldn’t say goodbye to him.

 

Because Yunho still wanted him, needed him by his side.

 

That Yunho still loves him. And like what his father said, that was the only thing matter.

 

Minwoo already told him. And his father too. Maybe he really was an idiot like Changmin said.

 

“Chang- aish…” Yunho was going after the younger, but the box dropped from his hand, and he impatiently put it inside the paper bag. “Changmin!”

 

Changmin didn’t hear him, he was quite far away from where Yunho was.

 

“Changmin!” Yunho ran quickly. “Shim Changmin!”

 

Changmin stopped walking, and Yunho was standing beside him.

 

“Shim Changmin, right?” Yunho smiled sweetly, teeth showing.

 

Changmin blinked away his tears.

 

“Actually I… I’ve been watching you for a long time,” Yunho grinned shyly and rubbed the back of his head. “I see your sincerity in loving someone…” he said, couldn’t stop his happy smile, though his heart hurting somewhere seeing Changmin like that. His eyes were swollen and nose red.

 

Changmin was trying to comprehend what was going on.

 

“And then I think, how wonderful my life would be if I were loved by you,… Changminnie…” Yunho added, brushing away the new tear from the corner of Changmin’s eyes.

 

And Changmin finally got it. He remembered those words. How could he forget, that was the first time Yunho’s words touched his heart.

 

“So… can you? Can you love me?” Yunho asked.

 

“You know,” Changmin looked down, touched the skin on his face where Yunho’s hand was. “My boyfriend is much better than you.” He said. “So you have to try harder.”

 

And finally Yunho saw Changmin smiled. That smiled that color his days into million beautiful things. That smile that would calm him, but also delight him. That smile Yunho missed so much. “I will. I will try har-“

 

“Can you hug me now?”

 

“Oh, Changminnie…” Yunho opened his arms, and Changmin just had to lean closer to fall to his embrace.

 

Changmin wrapped his arms around Yunho’s body, hugged him tighter, tucked his head under his chin, inhaling the familiar perfume on his neck. “I love you.”

 

Yunho kissed Changmin’s hair, bent down his head. “I know,”

 

Changmin’s heart felt that lighter as Yunho his back soothingly.

 

After a while, Changmin pulled back a little and looked at Yunho.

 

“Shall we eat breakfast together?” Yunho asked, lifted up the paper bag.

 

“Aren’t you going to work?” Changmin asked, reluctantly letting go of his hold.

 

“Well,” Yunho looked at his watch. “Oh, shit! I’m so dead-“

 

When Yunho turned around, he saw some staff from his office was standing in front of the building, watching them, whispering to each others. Lee Minwoo smirked behind his coffee takeaway. Miss Kim Taeyeon was giggling with the fellow workers.

 

Changmin also just found out about the audience, quietly looked at the other direction, hiding his face. “So at least they’ll know you’re taken.”

 

Yunho looked at Changmin. “They should know you’re taken too.”

 

Changmin looked back in confusion.

 

“I’ll see you, then,” Yunho said, almost kissed Changmin, but became too self conscious of people watching. So he just held Changmin’s hand briefly and walked towards his office building as if nothing happened.

 

“Ah, Yunho-sshi, why don’t you just tell me that he’s-“ Taeyeon whined cut as Mr Lee passed. “Good morning, Sir,”

 

“Morning, Miss Kim,” Minwoo replied. “A very good morning isn’t it, Mr Jung?” he said to Yunho.

 

“Good morning, Sir,” Yunho replied, smiling wider than usual, and entering the elevator together with his boss.

 

“Today must be your day,” Mr Lee said, sipping his coffee. “You’re getting a promotion.”

 

“I’m sorry, Sir?” Yunho thought he heard wrong.

 

Minwoo smiled to him. “Mrs Yoo won’t be back, she sent a resignation letter, saying that she preferred being a housewife. Bet she’ll regret it later,” he said.

 

Yunho bit his lip, wanted to say that being a housewife wasn’t that bad at all.

 

Minwoo added, “I’m going to China to manage a new branch. You’re taking my place.” The elevator door opened and he left first.

 

 

*

 

 

“You’re the one inviting us to lunch. That’s new.” Jaejoong said, stirring his coffee.

 

Yunho just smiled, eyeing Yoochun sharing his banana bread with Junsu.

 

“Your mood must be so good, Hyung,” Junsu said, munching the food. He saw how Yunho couldn’t stop grinning.

 

“Oh?”Jaejoong spotted something. He held Yunho’s left wrist, inspecting the watch. “This isn’t the watch I gave to you..?”

 

“Changminnie… gave me…” Yunho said proudly.

 

“Changminnie?” Jaejoong asked slowly. “So you made up with him, huh?” he asked.

 

Yunho nodded and touched the new watch.

 

“Well, I can’t be angry then, at least your problem solved,” Jaejoong said, sipping his coffee.

 

“Really, Hyung? So… it’s clear now between you and him?” Yoochun asked.

 

“But what actually happened?” Junsu asked.

 

“A lot happened.” Yunho said. “But we’re still together and that’s what matters.”

 

Jaejoong cooed, Yoochun and Junsu exchanged glances.

 

“Yoochun was quite worried, you know,” Jaejoong said. “But I know you’ll be fine. You look… um, healthier anyway,”

 

“That’s not what you said, Hyung,” Yoochun said to Jaejoong.

 

“What? What did you say?” Yunho looked at Jaejoong.

 

Jaejoong glared at Yoochun. He put down his cup and looked at Yunho. “I said you’re… chubbier.”

 

Yunho gulped down his coffee. Actually his pants felt a bit tighter too. “It’s because Changmin always cook for me…”

 

“Jagi, you should cook for me too!” Yoochun nudged at Junsu.

 

“Then, what about we do some sports together, huh?” Junsu ignored his pouting boyfriend. “There’ll be a little soccer tournament for my student. Let’s go Hyung!”

 

 

*

 

 

“You shouldn’t cook for Yunho Hyung,” Junsu said to Changmin. “Now Yoochun want me to do the same for him.”

 

They were in Junsu and Yoochun’s shared apartment, preparing some snacks for the tournament tomorrow.

 

“Maybe you should try it too, Hyung,” Changmin replied as he sliced the vegetables.

 

“I won’t unless I have to.” Junsu said, washing the fruits. “And I really hate Chunnie now. You know, he told the mothers of my students that they just have to bring lunch and we will provide the snacks.” He nagged. “He did that because he thought I’ll cook for him as well. Heh, in his dreams.”

 

Yoochun looked at them from the livingroom. “But Jagi, you can roll a perfect kimbap-“

 

“Shut up!” Junsu cut.

 

Changmin just laughed, took out his phone from his pocket. There was an unread message from Yunho.

 

_Yunho:_

_Minnie, r u in yuchun’s place now? :DD_

_With Junsu too?_

_Changmin:_

_yep, i just arrived not long ago._

_where r u?_

 

_Yunho:_

_I’m with jae, b there in 5 :))_

_Miss me already, minsarang?? :*_

 

“Changmin, are we cooking the topokki now?” Junsu asked.

 

“Ah, no, Hyung,” Changmin put down his phone on the counter. “Um… let’s cook the sauce. We’ll mix it tomorrow, so it’s still hot when we serve it.”

 

“Then… what do I do now?” Junsu looked around the kitchen. “What about that sauce recipe?” he took out his phone and googled it. “This one?”

 

“That one? Try to find another … something more simple, Hyung,” Changmin said, looking at the search results.

 

“Changmin, your phone keep ringing,” Yoochun said, walking to the kitchen, eyeing Changmin’s phone. “Oh? Minsarang?”

 

Changmin turned around to see Yoochun accidentally read his chat with Yunho. “Hyung!” his face turned red. He knew Yoochun would tease him about him.

 

“Junsu-yahh~ can’t I call you Junsarang too?” Yoochun asked cutely to Junsu.

 

“No!”

 

The three men looked at Yunho, who was just arrived, Jaejoong was behind him.

 

“No way! That thing is ours! Changminnie and me.” Yunho said, took off his suit jacket and quickly went to the kitchen.

 

“But… hey, hey! Get a room!” Yoochun protested as he saw Yunho was kissing Changmin. “It’s our apartment! Junsu and me! Hyung!”

 

Changmin was accepting the kiss, but as soon as he heard the audience, he pushed Yunho away. “What’s with you today?” he asked quietly.

 

“I’m just worried,” Yunho munched the raw carrot Changmin just cut. “Afraid that you’re alone with your first love,” he whispered.

 

“What?” Changmin glared at Yunho. “Now you’re the one with lack of faith-“

 

Yunho cut Changmin’s words with a peck to his lips. “Cook well, Minnie-ah,” he smiled.

 

And who could just stay angry when they looked at Yunho’s sunshiny smile? So Changmin just smiled back to him, continue slicing the veggies.

 

“If you’re not going to help, move aside.” Jaejoong pushed Yunho, who was looking for a pan.

 

“Yah, shouldn’t you treat me nicer?”

 

“Treat you nicer my ass…” Jaejoong mumbled. “I got his number myself!”

 

“Whose number?” Junsu asked.

 

“I got Lee Minwoo’s number! That hot ass from Yunho’s office!”

 

“What? So that’s why you’re picking up Yunho Hyung in his office?”

 

“Lee Minwoo gave his number to Jaejoong Hyung?” Changmin asked to Yunho.

 

Yunho nodded. “I’m a bit surprised he gave it just like that,” he said, before leaned to Changmin and whispered, “But turned out it was a fake number.”

 

“I heard that.” Jaejoong said to the couple.

 

 

*

 

 

Changmin handed out the last cup of topokki for the kids and helped Yoochun to clean up.

 

“They sure have so much fun,” Jaejoong said to Changmin and Yoochun, pointed to Junsu and Yunho, playing with the kids in the field.

 

“I didn’t think Su can get along well with children,” Yoochun replied.

 

“I think Junsu just enjoy playing soccer.” Jaejoong shrugged. “Different with Yunho.” He added after Yoochun went to Junsu.

 

Changmin looked at Jaejoong.

 

“Our Yunho, isn’t he so kind?”

 

“He is. I cannot believe there’s such a man in this world. Until I met him.” Changmin said.

 

Jaejoong put his arm around Changmin’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back together with Yunho. You don’t know how much he loves you,” his grip tightened. “So I’ll kill you if you hurt him again,” his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

 

Changmin didn’t flinch. He patted Jaejoong’s hand on his shoulder. “I’ll thank you if you do that, though. I won’t have to drown in self guilt for hurting Yunho again.”

 

“Changmin-ah~!” Yunho waved with both hands, calling his name from across the field.

 

Changmin smiled towards Yunho. The man was receiving a pass from Junsu, but the ball didn’t linger between his legs for long.

 

“Min- ah~~ help me~!” Yunho called again, three boys running towards him, held both his hands, another one held one of his leg. “Minnie!!!”

 

Junsu blew the whistle and let out a yellow card.

 

“I know you love him too.” Jaejoong said again. “I can see the way you look at him.”

 

Changmin diverted his gaze to Jaejoong.

 

“You look equally dumb to Yunho when you look at him.” Jaejoong snorted. “So disgustingly in love. Good thing I’m used to Chun and Junsu together or I’ll puke when I’m with you guys.”

 

Changmin chuckled. “So find someone to exchange that silly dumb disgusting look with, Hyung.”

 

“Just give Lee Minwoo’s number to me, Changmin-ah. And I’m on my way.”

 

Changmin would do that. Jaejoong could keep Minwoo away from his Yunho. _His_ Yunho.

 

His Yunho was rolling on the ground, holding two boys in his hands, laughing loudly and he thought Jaejoong was right. It was so dumb and disgusting. But it is his love. And he wouldn’t have it other way.

 

 

*

 

 

“Changminnie!” Yunho took one of Changmin’s bag from the owner. “You’re here!”

 

“Yeah, yeah…” Changmin mumbled, embarrassed a bit because Yunho was being overexcited and quite loud, some people turned their heads to look.

 

“Umma and Appa are going to the clinic. My father hurt his back a while ago. I’m lucky I can get some days off.” Yunho said as he led the way to his home.

 

Changmin took a look at the field, saw the greens neatly in rows. It was very refreshing to his eyes.

 

“We can help Mrs Yoon to harvest the cabbage later in the evening,” Yunho said. “Come on, Minnie, aren’t you tired? Hungry?”

 

Changmin looked at Yunho and smiled. “Hungry.”

 

Yunho’s smile got wider and he linked his arms with the younger. They met the neighborhood ahjumma and Yunho happily greeted them and introduced Changmin to them. “Please help him and return him to me if you see him wandering around, Imo!”

 

Changmin nudged Yunho, but bowed to the aunties, and they talked about how cute he was and how they missed their sons.

 

They arrived at Yunho’s home not long after, and the older helped Changmin to put his things in his bedroom. He was in the kitchen while Changmin changed his clothes.

 

“Miso soup and kimchi fried rice,” Yunho said, put the plate on the table. “Sorry there’s not much left, Min-ah. It’s our breakfast leftover.”

 

“It’s already a lot,” Changmin sat and looked at the food. “What were you doing this morning?”

 

“I was in the warehouse, Appa was teaching me to arrange the sail on the boat.” Yunho said, poured some water for Changmin, and sat the opposite of his lover.

 

“I know I should be used to this…” Changmin said, slurped the soup. “But… can you not look at me like that when I’m eating?” he tried to ignore Yunho’s stare like usual, but that time, he finally said it.

 

“Don’t you know I always watching over you, not only when you’re eating, Min-ah,” Yunho grinned, took a grain of rice on the corner of Changmin’s lips, and put it to the younger’s mouth to eat.

 

“Creep…” Changmin muttered, tried not to blush.

 

When Changmin finished his meal, Yunho got up to do the dishes.

 

“No, let me do it,” Changmin took the dirty plate and bowl from Yunho’s hand.

 

“Okay,” Yunho sat down again. “Then I can watch you doing the dishes.”

 

“Just-“ Changmin hissed. “Get your job done! Aren’t you supposed to be in the warehouse?”

 

“Alright, alright!” Yunho laughed, had fun in teasing Changmin.

 

Changmin started to wash, but he got the feeling that someone was staring. He looked through his shoulder, to find Yunho was leaning against the door, watching him.

 

“I understand now why Yoochun likes to see his partner washing the dishes,” Yunho grinned. “Your figure is really-“

 

“Are you kidding me, Jung!?” Changmin glared. “I’ll tell your father that you’re being such a lazy ass…”

 

“Oh look! My mother’s coming!” Yunho said, went outside.

 

Changmin could see Mrs Jung came alone from the window.

 

“Your father is going to the sea to see his friends,” Mrs Jung said to Yunho. “Omo, look who’s here! Changmin-ah!” she came over to Changmin. “Yah, son! How can you let him wash it!”

 

“He’s the one who want to do it!”

 

“How can you treat a guest like this!” Mrs Jung nagged, took out the vegetables she bought in the market earlier.

 

“Eyy~ of course he’s not just a guest! Didn’t you say he’s like your son?”

 

Mrs Jung sighed. “You and your smart mouth…”

 

“I get this mouth from you, right, Umma?”

 

Mrs Jung hit Yunho with a big radish and earned a big laugh from Changmin.

 

A little later, Yunho got back to the warehouse while Changmin chatted with Mrs Jung.

 

“My parents are from Seoul, so I don’t have many chance to visit the countryside,” Changmin said, sipped the tea Mrs Jung prepared for him.

 

“Really? Then you can visit us anytime, Changmin-ah,” Mrs Jung patted him. “I’m making tomato soup for dinner… Yunho’s Appa, when he’s sick, his taste bud become sensitive, he said…” she was preparing the ingredients for dinner. “But it’s not sensitive, but child like taste bud, you know?”

 

Changmin just laughed.

 

“Oh, Changmin-ah, can you wash this, please?” Mrs Jung gave him a plastic bag.

 

“Yes, Mrs Jung,” Changmin headed to the wash basin and opened the bag. “Oh! Yunho’s favorite strawberry!”

 

“So you know what Yunho likes too?” Mrs Jung looked at him. “Ah… our Yunho is very lucky!”

 

Changmin just smile in reply, and took a bowl from the cupboard. He washed the strawberries and put them to the bowl. “Should I just give this to Yunho now?”

 

“Yes, yes…”

 

Changmin went to the warehouse. Yunho noticed him as he entered, and put down his hammer.

 

“Uwah! Strawberry!” Yunho grinned cheerfully as he eyed the bowl.

 

Changmin slapped Yunho’s hand before it could touch the fruit. “Wash your hand first.” He sat on one of the table.

 

“But I’m not done yet.” Yunho pouted.

 

Changmin said nothing, but fed Yunho one.

 

Yunho hummed in delight and smiled. “I can live with that.”

 

“Of course.” Changmin almost rolled his eyes, ate one as well. It was quite sour, but Yunho liked it nonetheless.

 

Yunho’s wide smile went smaller as he stared at Changmin.

 

Changmin felt a little nervous, but refused to look away. Yunho’s presence always felt so big, also intimidating sometimes.

 

“Changmin-ah,” Yunho called, stood in front of him. “I have something to tell you.”

 

Changmin felt his heartbeat went faster. “…what is it?”

 

Yunho rested his hands on the table, on either side of Changmin, caged him. The younger gulped silently, clutched at the bowl. Yunho’s kiss was short but sweet, tasted just like the man. Sweet and sour, with a little hint of sweat. He gave Changmin his sunshine smile.

 

“I love you too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> done & done!  
> i hope i don't ruin the ending, i hope i can meet ur expectation :)  
> thank u for my dear readers, for keeping up with me until the end! i'm so happy for ur support.   
> i want u to know i often smiling like an idiot replying to ur comments, i really do appreciate it :*  
> see u in my next project~ <3


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